[ there's a brief stillness as daisy blinks, a bashful smile slowly pushing across her face, faint color in the apples of her cheeks. the compliment catches her by surprise, unexpected even as he very clearly enjoys the view; by the time he tips her backwards into the bed, she's very glad for the sudden diversion.
even if it means him ghosting away for just a moment before coming right back in again, mouth hot against her own. that, she can appreciate — and perhaps more importantly, she can show her appreciation now, hands reaching up to sprawl out over his now bare back, nails pressing in to leave little half-moon indentations as she tugs him in.
at one point, when air becomes a necessity, she murmurs against the shell of his ear: ] I like when you look at me.
[ god, he hopes. even now, thoughts creep into his head that he's not sure he's going to be able to give this up if john and everyone else decides that this is going to be a no go. he has no idea how he's going to let himself have this tonight, let all those buried feelings and pushed away memories come back to the forefront and then possibly walk away.
he really doesn't know if he'll be able to do it. not again. ]
But, I've probably looked enough, hmm? [ she was letting him have his fun but it's probably time to stop wasting the hours they have left so he moves down and captures her lips in another, harder kiss this time. ]
[ daisy's trying not to think about it. putting her heart in john's hands — not to mention her job, her professional reputation, the organizational information she'll inevitably give to the underground's expected questioning — feels like a bigger risk than anything she's ever done before.
but it's worth it, she's realized. to feel this way about someone, to have them so close and have the opportunity to risk it — not to do it would be cowardly. unforgivable. she can't not risk it now. ]
Yeah, you should.
[ risky. so risky. but the words feel good to say out loud, as if marking their wants for the universe in some more tangible way. that they both want this to go on, despite all the signs saying not to.
his touch, too. she can't help but respond in kind to it, diving in headfirst to each rough press of his lips to hers, her entire body angling to get as close as possible, to feel more of the warmth that always radiates from his skin. ]
[ ordinarily, marcos would stay right where he is, on top of and against her but he worries that his arm's going to give out at any second so he edges off to the side a bit, settling himself on his side so he doesn't risk falling on top of her mid kiss or mid something else.
maybe it's not quite what he wanted but it's safer and he doesn't want to have to stop anything they might do because his arm's started aching again. besides, he can still slide close to her on his side, press himself right up against her and wrap an arm around her to make sure she doesn't go anywhere.
considering she's wearing much less than him, the feeling of her bare chest against his makes him shiver and he smothers a moan against her lips. ]
[ the arm around her shoulders gives her reason to curl up just that much closer, but she doesn't need an incentive to stay put — right now, there's nowhere else on earth (or beyond) that she wants to be more than right here, her hands dragging up his back in order to lift, carding her fingers through thick hair that's always surprisingly cool to the touch. probably because all the heat's in his skin, pressed against her own, hot enough to set her on fire if she's not careful.
and then he moans, low and gentle against her mouth, and daisy needs something a little more than just being held close. maybe in an hour, maybe in the morning, but right now is about making up for lost time, about reclaiming all the opportunities that got lost to anger and what feels now like unnecessary separation. the catch and tug of his bottom lip between her teeth isn't cruel, but the only softness is in the sweep of her tongue as she lets go, soothing over the offended spot. over and over, encouragement for more, as her legs tangle with his. ]
You always drove me crazy, you know that?
[ murmured as her face pulls away for a moment, mouth relocating to skim against the line of his jaw, trailing soft nips up and down. ]
[ but, he knows it now and he won't be forgetting it. were there other things that maybe she'd told him not so much with words but with actions that he'd missed? he doesn't want to miss anything anymore. this night isn't going to last forever and he wants to try and squeeze as much as he can into the hours as possible. ]
The feeling's mutual. [ in fact, he can feel himself slowly being driven crazy right now with just those lips on his jaw. he tips his head back and closes his eyes, scratching his nails up and down her back so he doesn't go completely still while she's kissing him. ]
Missed you more. [ she remembers saying that too him over the phone, variations of the same theme — love you more, like it was a competition. if they could have saved themselves from months of heartache and stress by simply agreeing that the love was equal, maybe they wouldn't be in this mess. but they are, and daisy still hasn't learned the meaning of the world chill. so, ] To the moon and back.
[ a sweet thing to say, really, which only makes it a perfect contrast to the hedonistic drag of her teeth along his jawline that follows it, just enough pressure to elicit a shiver down his spine. god, but she wants to map out every inch of his body with her mouth, piece by piece. she wants to swim in the sound of his voice, to hear him call out her name, to hear him whisper every fantasy he couldn't act on for every night they were apart. ]
This bed's too big without you in it.
[ so stay, she wants to say. go back during the day, do your duty, but come back to her at night. let this be their sanctuary. ]
I'm sorry. [ for leaving. for staying gone. for the anger. for the fighting. for showing up here even if things were going in a better direction. for not believing her. for so much. he prides himself on trying as hard as he can, on listening and doing the thing that's best for everyone but he knows he doesn't always succeed.
he fails. he failed here and while what's happening between them now is a good start on atoning for things, he doesn't know if it'll ever be enough in his mind. but, he can try. he do his best to show her that he's so sorry for what he's done. ]
Forgive me, please. [ it's starting to get harder and harder to talk the more she uses her mouth. but, he has to get that out, has to tell her that he's sorry and he doesn't want her to be angry at him anymore. life is too short for that. either one of them could die before the next day and he doesn't want her to think he's harboring any ill will. even as she makes him shake and shudder, he has to tell her that, at least. ]
I do. [ he doesn't have to keep apologizing. he doesn't have to bear that guilt so heavy on his heart or that weight on his shoulders. she knows he will, but he doesn't have to. his coming back is enough.
her hand shifts from its path through his hair to cup the side of his face, her thumb brushing gently over his brow and cheekbone. just a feather-light touch. ] Of course I do.
[ maybe she should keep talking. she could reassure him that she loves him, that she's not harboring any kind of anger or bitterness, that she understands why he did what he did and hopes he understands hers too. but it doesn't seem like talking is going to help. they've talked a lot, anyway, and maybe they should do something else. ]
I love you. I'm not going anywhere without you.
[ he'll just have to trust her on that, because she doesn't want to say anymore. she just wants to kiss him, hands cupping his cheeks, firm and sure and clear, until she can't breathe anymore for the sake of it. ]
[ it's easy to tell when she's done talking and honestly, he's done too. there have been apologies and atonement, whispers of love and affection but they're wasting time with words when he knows soon enough that he's going to have to leave. not permanently but he still doesn't know what tomorrow holds. but, there's nothing he can do about that now so he puts it aside. he closes that door in his head and focuses just on her.
when he needs to take a breath, he pulls his mouth from hers and presses it against her neck, moving down once again but deciding he wasn't going to just stop and start talking like the last time he'd gotten started this way.
this time, he actually gets down to her chest and presses his ear against her heart for the briefest of moments before kissing the spot and going lower still. ]
[ he pulls away and, for the briefest of moments, daisy has to fight the urge to keep him in place, to keep his face close to hers so she can feel his breath against her face, to keep her hands cupping around his jaw to feel his heartbeat against her fingertips. but she lets him slide down, her hands sliding through his hair and then lifting to bury themselves in the pillows above her, her eyes falling shut as she feels without seeing him slide down to her belly.
it doesn't seem fair, somehow, that he's been so focused on her when all she wants is to be close to him, but if he's going to make things happen... well, she can't exactly complain.
better to let her body do the talking, then. better to let her body move by instinct and muscle memory alone, back arching up to greet him as his mouth skims from her chest to her sternum and then lower still, ever closer to the band of her shorts and where she wants him the most. ]
[ from the way she's moving and the sounds she's making, he knows it has to be but marcos wants to check anyway. maybe he's forgotten how to read her in the time they've been apart. maybe she wants him to do something else. maybe there's a lot of things going on and while he doesn't want to talk and get them on a tangent, he has to ask even as he hooks his fingers into the waist of her shorts and smiles up at her. ]
Can I? [ please? ] Or do you want to do something else?
[ anything. just let him stay the night and the morning and forever. ]
[ his fingers hook into her shorts and he stops and the combination of wanting and sudden denial hit her like a train full of bricks. it's really only how sincere and pleading his smile is that softens daisy's irritation; instead of hissing out a demand, she exhales, pushing herself up on her elbows in order to look down at him without craning her neck. ]
Yes, Marcos. [ yes to this, yes to all of it. informed, exceedingly enthusiastic consent. ] Please.
[ hands in her pants, mouth on hers, or just curled up next to each other watching reruns. it doesn't matter to her as long as it's with him. if this isn't what he wants — not that she thinks he doesn't, but just in case — they don't have to.
but she hopes he wants to, because she does. badly. ]
[ then, he was going to touch her. he was going to touch her until she came apart and could only lay there and smile at him he was going to touch her until the sun came up and then hopefully even beyond that
once he divests her of her shorts and he's got her blissfully naked, he starts kissing a line up one of her legs until he gets to her thigh. he noses against the soft skin there, breathing her in and then licks until his mouth's on her inner thigh and move himself between her legs, peering up at her s he does. ]
I'll touch you, then. [ he bends his head and does just that, slowly licking at exactly where she wants him to be. ]
God, you're such a tease, [ groaned out as her body goes flat against the bed again, head rolling back to expose the column of her throat to the air above. it's not a complaint, not even slightly, but just the truth of the matter. when she's begging him to touch her, his mouth gently teasing the softest sensations is not the immediate satisfaction she's begging for.
this is not bad, though. it's — well. marcos has always been incredible, as if his superpower was knowing exactly what and how and when to touch in order to pull exactly the kind of reactions he wanted from her, and this is no exception. with each pass of his tongue, daisy's breaths grow shallower, exhales harder out her mouth as she strains not to wriggle under his light touch, her hands splaying out over the sheets to grab at them every so often in an attempt to avoid reaching down and tugging at his head.
she wants more, but she doesn't want him to stop what he's doing either. a torturous, teasing, enjoyable experience. ]
Has it been so long that you've forgotten that? [ he could be an absolute tease when he wants to be. sometimes, he'd just wanted to prolong their time together and teasing her until he eventually let her get off was one way to do that. and she'd never complained especially when she'd figured out what she was doing and why he was doing it.
ands he doesn't seem to be too against what he's doing now. yes, she's calling him names but that's par for the course. she was a frequent name caller (in jest) when they'd been together before so he has no reason to think it's changed.
still, he's not going to be a tease forever. in fact, he nudges her legs a little further apart to give himself more room and then drops a kiss against her stomach before dropping lower again. this time, when he licks her, it's not her thighs, it's where she'd probably been hoping he'd start in the first place.
A day is too long, [ retorted back in a brief moment of pause, though she regrets the tease as soon as his mouth touches back down. this time, it's a slow trickle of electricity up her spine, a shiver of delight as his tongue flattens against her, warm and encouraging and practiced. he knows exactly what he's doing, and she knows it. ]
I — god, I can't think when you do this.
[ which is probably the point. it had been a particular favorite pastime of his, a way to gently bring her from stress and tension and frustration down to somewhere much more relaxed; she'd lay here and let him touch her with his hands and his mouth until she was unable to think about anything but the sensation of his skin on hers, and everything she wanted that came with it.
she has a feeling he's going to drag it out tonight as well... and somehow, she can't really find it in herself to be mad about it. ]
Do you need to think right now? [ there's a bit of a respite but he can't resist that quip. he's pretty sure they did all their thinking and fighting and arguing earlier when he'd first showed up. there were agreements now, both spoken and unspoken, about what would come next so he doesn't think she needs to use her brain anymore. ]
Because I can stop. [ he wasn't going to stop. he was already lowering his head, moving back and resuming the ministrations with his tongue and lips that he'd been doing before she'd made her comment that just had to be responded to.
guess she wasn't going to be thinking much more tonight. ]
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[ there's a brief stillness as daisy blinks, a bashful smile slowly pushing across her face, faint color in the apples of her cheeks. the compliment catches her by surprise, unexpected even as he very clearly enjoys the view; by the time he tips her backwards into the bed, she's very glad for the sudden diversion.
even if it means him ghosting away for just a moment before coming right back in again, mouth hot against her own. that, she can appreciate — and perhaps more importantly, she can show her appreciation now, hands reaching up to sprawl out over his now bare back, nails pressing in to leave little half-moon indentations as she tugs him in.
at one point, when air becomes a necessity, she murmurs against the shell of his ear: ] I like when you look at me.
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[ god, he hopes. even now, thoughts creep into his head that he's not sure he's going to be able to give this up if john and everyone else decides that this is going to be a no go. he has no idea how he's going to let himself have this tonight, let all those buried feelings and pushed away memories come back to the forefront and then possibly walk away.
he really doesn't know if he'll be able to do it. not again. ]
But, I've probably looked enough, hmm? [ she was letting him have his fun but it's probably time to stop wasting the hours they have left so he moves down and captures her lips in another, harder kiss this time. ]
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but it's worth it, she's realized. to feel this way about someone, to have them so close and have the opportunity to risk it — not to do it would be cowardly. unforgivable. she can't not risk it now. ]
Yeah, you should.
[ risky. so risky. but the words feel good to say out loud, as if marking their wants for the universe in some more tangible way. that they both want this to go on, despite all the signs saying not to.
his touch, too. she can't help but respond in kind to it, diving in headfirst to each rough press of his lips to hers, her entire body angling to get as close as possible, to feel more of the warmth that always radiates from his skin. ]
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maybe it's not quite what he wanted but it's safer and he doesn't want to have to stop anything they might do because his arm's started aching again. besides, he can still slide close to her on his side, press himself right up against her and wrap an arm around her to make sure she doesn't go anywhere.
considering she's wearing much less than him, the feeling of her bare chest against his makes him shiver and he smothers a moan against her lips. ]
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and then he moans, low and gentle against her mouth, and daisy needs something a little more than just being held close. maybe in an hour, maybe in the morning, but right now is about making up for lost time, about reclaiming all the opportunities that got lost to anger and what feels now like unnecessary separation. the catch and tug of his bottom lip between her teeth isn't cruel, but the only softness is in the sweep of her tongue as she lets go, soothing over the offended spot. over and over, encouragement for more, as her legs tangle with his. ]
You always drove me crazy, you know that?
[ murmured as her face pulls away for a moment, mouth relocating to skim against the line of his jaw, trailing soft nips up and down. ]
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[ but, he knows it now and he won't be forgetting it. were there other things that maybe she'd told him not so much with words but with actions that he'd missed? he doesn't want to miss anything anymore. this night isn't going to last forever and he wants to try and squeeze as much as he can into the hours as possible. ]
The feeling's mutual. [ in fact, he can feel himself slowly being driven crazy right now with just those lips on his jaw. he tips his head back and closes his eyes, scratching his nails up and down her back so he doesn't go completely still while she's kissing him. ]
I missed you. [ every minute of every day. ]
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[ a sweet thing to say, really, which only makes it a perfect contrast to the hedonistic drag of her teeth along his jawline that follows it, just enough pressure to elicit a shiver down his spine. god, but she wants to map out every inch of his body with her mouth, piece by piece. she wants to swim in the sound of his voice, to hear him call out her name, to hear him whisper every fantasy he couldn't act on for every night they were apart. ]
This bed's too big without you in it.
[ so stay, she wants to say. go back during the day, do your duty, but come back to her at night. let this be their sanctuary. ]
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he fails. he failed here and while what's happening between them now is a good start on atoning for things, he doesn't know if it'll ever be enough in his mind. but, he can try. he do his best to show her that he's so sorry for what he's done. ]
Forgive me, please. [ it's starting to get harder and harder to talk the more she uses her mouth. but, he has to get that out, has to tell her that he's sorry and he doesn't want her to be angry at him anymore. life is too short for that. either one of them could die before the next day and he doesn't want her to think he's harboring any ill will. even as she makes him shake and shudder, he has to tell her that, at least. ]
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her hand shifts from its path through his hair to cup the side of his face, her thumb brushing gently over his brow and cheekbone. just a feather-light touch. ] Of course I do.
[ maybe she should keep talking. she could reassure him that she loves him, that she's not harboring any kind of anger or bitterness, that she understands why he did what he did and hopes he understands hers too. but it doesn't seem like talking is going to help. they've talked a lot, anyway, and maybe they should do something else. ]
I love you. I'm not going anywhere without you.
[ he'll just have to trust her on that, because she doesn't want to say anymore. she just wants to kiss him, hands cupping his cheeks, firm and sure and clear, until she can't breathe anymore for the sake of it. ]
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when he needs to take a breath, he pulls his mouth from hers and presses it against her neck, moving down once again but deciding he wasn't going to just stop and start talking like the last time he'd gotten started this way.
this time, he actually gets down to her chest and presses his ear against her heart for the briefest of moments before kissing the spot and going lower still. ]
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it doesn't seem fair, somehow, that he's been so focused on her when all she wants is to be close to him, but if he's going to make things happen... well, she can't exactly complain.
better to let her body do the talking, then. better to let her body move by instinct and muscle memory alone, back arching up to greet him as his mouth skims from her chest to her sternum and then lower still, ever closer to the band of her shorts and where she wants him the most. ]
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[ from the way she's moving and the sounds she's making, he knows it has to be but marcos wants to check anyway. maybe he's forgotten how to read her in the time they've been apart. maybe she wants him to do something else. maybe there's a lot of things going on and while he doesn't want to talk and get them on a tangent, he has to ask even as he hooks his fingers into the waist of her shorts and smiles up at her. ]
Can I? [ please? ] Or do you want to do something else?
[ anything. just let him stay the night and the morning and forever. ]
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Yes, Marcos. [ yes to this, yes to all of it. informed, exceedingly enthusiastic consent. ] Please.
[ hands in her pants, mouth on hers, or just curled up next to each other watching reruns. it doesn't matter to her as long as it's with him. if this isn't what he wants — not that she thinks he doesn't, but just in case — they don't have to.
but she hopes he wants to, because she does. badly. ]
I want you to touch me.
[ so... do that. please? ]
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[ then, he was going to touch her. he was going to touch her until she came apart and could only lay there and smile at him he was going to touch her until the sun came up and then hopefully even beyond that
once he divests her of her shorts and he's got her blissfully naked, he starts kissing a line up one of her legs until he gets to her thigh. he noses against the soft skin there, breathing her in and then licks until his mouth's on her inner thigh and move himself between her legs, peering up at her s he does. ]
I'll touch you, then. [ he bends his head and does just that, slowly licking at exactly where she wants him to be. ]
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this is not bad, though. it's — well. marcos has always been incredible, as if his superpower was knowing exactly what and how and when to touch in order to pull exactly the kind of reactions he wanted from her, and this is no exception. with each pass of his tongue, daisy's breaths grow shallower, exhales harder out her mouth as she strains not to wriggle under his light touch, her hands splaying out over the sheets to grab at them every so often in an attempt to avoid reaching down and tugging at his head.
she wants more, but she doesn't want him to stop what he's doing either. a torturous, teasing, enjoyable experience. ]
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ands he doesn't seem to be too against what he's doing now. yes, she's calling him names but that's par for the course. she was a frequent name caller (in jest) when they'd been together before so he has no reason to think it's changed.
still, he's not going to be a tease forever. in fact, he nudges her legs a little further apart to give himself more room and then drops a kiss against her stomach before dropping lower again. this time, when he licks her, it's not her thighs, it's where she'd probably been hoping he'd start in the first place.
see, he'd gotten there. ]
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I — god, I can't think when you do this.
[ which is probably the point. it had been a particular favorite pastime of his, a way to gently bring her from stress and tension and frustration down to somewhere much more relaxed; she'd lay here and let him touch her with his hands and his mouth until she was unable to think about anything but the sensation of his skin on hers, and everything she wanted that came with it.
she has a feeling he's going to drag it out tonight as well... and somehow, she can't really find it in herself to be mad about it. ]
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Because I can stop. [ he wasn't going to stop. he was already lowering his head, moving back and resuming the ministrations with his tongue and lips that he'd been doing before she'd made her comment that just had to be responded to.
guess she wasn't going to be thinking much more tonight. ]