[ she pays attention. and she knows it's hard. hell, sometimes daisy struggled to reconcile the life she'd led in new amsterdam versus the life she'd been dumped back into here in what was her own present day. she had no idea how illya managed to find himself still in a relative future, in another country, and not feel completely lost.
the fact that he still managed to carve out a niche for himself remains impressive to her; though she never revealed his backstory to anyone on her own, she's always quick to express her pride in him when it comes up. which is... admittedly pretty often, mostly because she can't keep his name out of her mouth.
what is love. ]
And yeah, I like my shit, but I don't love it. [ do you see her point? it's a big bulls-eye of a point, illya ] I didn't ask my bed to move in with me, did I? I just bought it.
[ at goodwill, for that matter, for half-price. she's not attached to it. ]
You're more important to me than a bed, babe. Don't you know that?
[ it is hard to forget those initial few days after he'd ended up out of new amsterdam and here. daisy had been nothing but accommodating because his moods had bounced from one extreme to another. while the last thing he wanted to do was leave her, he also didn't want to be a burden or an obligation by once again being out of time and place.
he'd offered to find a place to live on his own. she'd been insistent and encouraging even when he'd glared or snapped. and that is how he'd come to be living with her. but that edge of 'this isn't mine' remained and remained and remained. ]
I...know. [ and he does. he really does! but sometimes he doesn't think he should be. this is her life and he can't help but feel like an intruder when he doesn't know one of her friends or doesn't know where something is in the city. ]
I love you too. [ obviously. ] And I want to be here. I am sorry if I gave the impression that I do not. I don't think I could exist anywhere without you at this point.
Well, [ the syllable dragging out as she leans forwards on her knees, reaching out to rest her palms on his own in order to pull herself a little closer. ] I don't want you to exist without me, so I think we're in agreement there.
[ a rare instance. they should celebrate. or at least give it a moment of silence. ]
I also think you should consider coming in with me sometime. To SHIELD.
[ it's not a demand. they've talked about it before, off-handedly. she knows his reservations, his concerns about his own former allegiances, and while she's assured him she doesn't think it would be an issue, daisy also knows that's not the kind of thing she can just promise on her own. ]
Mack's a good guy, and [ a beat ] he knows about New Amsterdam. I think if you talked to him, you might like him.
[ talked, sparred, maybe gossiped. ]
And I'm not saying you have to, like, pledge allegiance or anything. It could be contract work. Freelance, even.
Maybe. [ he says it grudgingly, slowly, eyes flicking down to their hands and then back up to her face. ] I don't know.
[ it was another place that doesn't feel like this but unlike furniture and an apartment, you couldn't go out and replace a whole organization. and he sincerely doubts many of her associates were going to look kindly upon someone with a past like this. ]
Perhaps I will go in with you one day just to see you off and see what comes of it. [ but he could make no promises. every spy agency was not created equally and while he knows that they do good work, it still might not be a way that he precisely wants to work. ]
As for the bed -- [ since that was the more pressing matter here. ] Do you want a new bed or a new apartment?
If nothing else, I'd pay good money to watch you spar with May.
[ a hint of teasing in her tone, a brightness in her eyes; they've sparred together enough times that illya knows what she's capable of, but even daisy thinks twice before going toe-to-toe with the cavalry.
as for the rest of it? well, she doesn't expect him to sign on in a heartbeat. she knows he'll want to meet the team, to talk to mack, to discuss operational expectations and mission statements and regulations — all of the things that daisy doesn't want to be the one to tell him. that's not her area of expertise. even still, she appreciates that he's willing to try. that means something.
which is a pretty stark contrast, all things considered, to his follow-up. her brow quirks up a bit. ]
We can do both? Either? [ she shrugs ] It's whatever you want. Keep the bed, find a new place; keep the place, find a new bed; toss them both and start over — I just want you to be happy here.
[ here, in their apartment; here, in this world; here, with her. ]
[ who would you be putting money on there, daisy? not that he's opposed to a good challenge. in fact, he craves them especially since there not as easily found here as they were back in new amsterdam. ]
Perhaps a new bed then. [ maybe something more in the future. he does not want to cause that much tumult and he knows this whole thing is down to his own issues. it is not her or her apartment or her bed but him and he needs to simply get over it. ]
I am happy here. [ despite all appearances, he was. truly. ] I am a lot happier here than I would be if I was still in that city and you were not. I've experienced that. I do not want to do it again.
No. [ but there's a smile quirking up the corner of her mouth; she may be sincere in saying that melinda may could very well kick his ass, but that doesn't mean he can't learn from it and win another time. she has great faith in him. ] But I'll always bet on you.
[ she always has. literally and figuratively. ]
We can look for one this weekend, if you want. [ somehow, she has a feeling they won't. he'll agree to it to defuse the argument, but it's not really about the bed at all.
but that's not a bad thing, so daisy lets her hand stretch to cover one of his, squeezing his palm gently with her fingers. ]
I'm not going anywhere. I told you, you're stuck with me, remember?
[ well, now he has to go in with her at least once because he has to see just how good a fighter this may person was if she was bluntly telling him that he'd lose. he wasn't afraid to lose but it took a level that many people didn't have. and a fighter like that in the employ of her agency was enticing.
and a challenge that he cannot ignore. ]
You have told me that. [ many times and in many situations. it's a comfort. it centers him when he feels like he is constantly on his back foot.
sighing, he finally climbs to his feet and turns his hands in hers so he can tug her up with him. ] Come on. This sofa is too small to sleep on. Let's go to bed.
[ at least he was letting the sofa thing go for now? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ she pays attention. and she knows it's hard. hell, sometimes daisy struggled to reconcile the life she'd led in new amsterdam versus the life she'd been dumped back into here in what was her own present day. she had no idea how illya managed to find himself still in a relative future, in another country, and not feel completely lost.
the fact that he still managed to carve out a niche for himself remains impressive to her; though she never revealed his backstory to anyone on her own, she's always quick to express her pride in him when it comes up. which is... admittedly pretty often, mostly because she can't keep his name out of her mouth.
what is love. ]
And yeah, I like my shit, but I don't love it. [ do you see her point? it's a big bulls-eye of a point, illya ] I didn't ask my bed to move in with me, did I? I just bought it.
[ at goodwill, for that matter, for half-price. she's not attached to it. ]
You're more important to me than a bed, babe. Don't you know that?
no subject
he'd offered to find a place to live on his own. she'd been insistent and encouraging even when he'd glared or snapped. and that is how he'd come to be living with her. but that edge of 'this isn't mine' remained and remained and remained. ]
I...know. [ and he does. he really does! but sometimes he doesn't think he should be. this is her life and he can't help but feel like an intruder when he doesn't know one of her friends or doesn't know where something is in the city. ]
I love you too. [ obviously. ] And I want to be here. I am sorry if I gave the impression that I do not. I don't think I could exist anywhere without you at this point.
[ so. yes. ]
no subject
[ a rare instance. they should celebrate. or at least give it a moment of silence. ]
I also think you should consider coming in with me sometime. To SHIELD.
[ it's not a demand. they've talked about it before, off-handedly. she knows his reservations, his concerns about his own former allegiances, and while she's assured him she doesn't think it would be an issue, daisy also knows that's not the kind of thing she can just promise on her own. ]
Mack's a good guy, and [ a beat ] he knows about New Amsterdam. I think if you talked to him, you might like him.
[ talked, sparred, maybe gossiped. ]
And I'm not saying you have to, like, pledge allegiance or anything. It could be contract work. Freelance, even.
no subject
[ it was another place that doesn't feel like this but unlike furniture and an apartment, you couldn't go out and replace a whole organization. and he sincerely doubts many of her associates were going to look kindly upon someone with a past like this. ]
Perhaps I will go in with you one day just to see you off and see what comes of it. [ but he could make no promises. every spy agency was not created equally and while he knows that they do good work, it still might not be a way that he precisely wants to work. ]
As for the bed -- [ since that was the more pressing matter here. ] Do you want a new bed or a new apartment?
no subject
[ a hint of teasing in her tone, a brightness in her eyes; they've sparred together enough times that illya knows what she's capable of, but even daisy thinks twice before going toe-to-toe with the cavalry.
as for the rest of it? well, she doesn't expect him to sign on in a heartbeat. she knows he'll want to meet the team, to talk to mack, to discuss operational expectations and mission statements and regulations — all of the things that daisy doesn't want to be the one to tell him. that's not her area of expertise. even still, she appreciates that he's willing to try. that means something.
which is a pretty stark contrast, all things considered, to his follow-up. her brow quirks up a bit. ]
We can do both? Either? [ she shrugs ] It's whatever you want. Keep the bed, find a new place; keep the place, find a new bed; toss them both and start over — I just want you to be happy here.
[ here, in their apartment; here, in this world; here, with her. ]
no subject
[ who would you be putting money on there, daisy? not that he's opposed to a good challenge. in fact, he craves them especially since there not as easily found here as they were back in new amsterdam. ]
Perhaps a new bed then. [ maybe something more in the future. he does not want to cause that much tumult and he knows this whole thing is down to his own issues. it is not her or her apartment or her bed but him and he needs to simply get over it. ]
I am happy here. [ despite all appearances, he was. truly. ] I am a lot happier here than I would be if I was still in that city and you were not. I've experienced that. I do not want to do it again.
no subject
[ she always has. literally and figuratively. ]
We can look for one this weekend, if you want. [ somehow, she has a feeling they won't. he'll agree to it to defuse the argument, but it's not really about the bed at all.
but that's not a bad thing, so daisy lets her hand stretch to cover one of his, squeezing his palm gently with her fingers. ]
I'm not going anywhere. I told you, you're stuck with me, remember?
no subject
and a challenge that he cannot ignore. ]
You have told me that. [ many times and in many situations. it's a comfort. it centers him when he feels like he is constantly on his back foot.
sighing, he finally climbs to his feet and turns his hands in hers so he can tug her up with him. ] Come on. This sofa is too small to sleep on. Let's go to bed.
[ at least he was letting the sofa thing go for now? ]