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[evite]

@daisy.johnson | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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[evite]

don't you know you're not supposed to smell the stuff in your lab, bobbi

[ screaming no!!! with her hands over her ears like a child ]

[covertness]

you know better than to accuse me of that

[ no easy excuses for you daisy ]

[evite]

it's not like that
he was just worried, and i was tired

[ what is it like then???????? ]

[covertness]

makes perfect sense

[ yeah daisy what is it like then??? ]

[evite]

[ she could take bobbi's statement at face value, couldn't she? it does make sense, that's what she's trying to prove.

but she knows better. ]

i don't know what it is
we haven't talked about it

[ she hasn't known what to say ]

[covertness]

do you know what you want it to be?

[evite]

what i want it to be scares the shit out of me, bobbi.

[ and that, dear reader, is the god's honest truth. ]

[covertness]

that's the best and the worst way to feel

[evite]

it was a lot easier when i just wore a ton of eyeliner and pretended i didn't have any feelings

[ after lincoln died, daisy told herself she wouldn't get involved again. and she'd kept that promise, mostly. she'd kept herself back when she could have gotten closer to people, while they dealt with the framework and the darkhold and everything that came with it.

but here? she hadn't meant to, but daisy was pretty sure she'd done exactly what she'd done with lincoln. bonded with someone in an unfamiliar place, let down her own walls little by little, until wanting to be with them overrode every rule she'd had up in the first place. ]

i keep thinking about may
"the mission comes first"
if i want this, am i fucking that up?

[ will she be too compromised to do what has to be done, if it has to be done? if she has to say goodbye in order to go home, will she be able to do it? is she strong enough? ]

[covertness]

pretending not to have feelings never really works for long
at least not if you're lying to yourself

[ bobbi wouldn't be nearly as good a liar if she lied to herself more often than she does, wouldn't be nearly as good at manipulating emotions if she wasn't honest about her own with herself. ]

the mission comes first
but we're allowed to live, too

[ it's not a full answer, but it's the beginning of one. ultimately, only daisy can give a full answer. ]

[evite]

how do you know if you're lying to yourself?

[ she can't seem to agree with herself on anything. does she want this? does she not? is she too afraid, or just being practical? the conflicting questions never stop. ]

and how do you know if you're living or just being reckless?

[covertness]

sometimes you don't
talking about it helps
exercise helps, too, at least for me
sometimes things are clearer after a long spar or a run

[evite]

[ running is the worst. it keeps you healthy, but at what cost? ]

when i get out of here, i'll take you up on that
may would kill me for getting rusty anyway

[covertness]

she really would
don't tell me you're getting soft in your old age

[evite]

not entirely squishy yet
i've sparred a couple times

[ most notably, during the infection period. funny how she keeps sparring with the same person. ]

[covertness]

who with?

[ spill, daisy ]

[evite]

you know who
and don't say it
i can tell you're doing that smug "i knew it" smile even when you're in the lab

[ drag her ass bobbi ]

[covertness]

damn, daisy
you really are in deep

[evite]

[ can't deny it. ]

i fucked up, didn't i

[covertness]

i wouldn't go that far

[ falling in love is not fucking up ]

it complicates things, sure
but hell, life is complicated
it'd be boring otherwise

[evite]

[ it's too early to start singing bangers from hercules ]

maybe
honestly i feel like i could stand a month of boring these days

[covertness]

different kinds of boredom, if you ask me
but i know what you mean