Well, you did lose pretty spectacularly. [ will she ever stop teasing him about that? probably not. ] I had just figured it was your first game.
[ she'd only met solo for a brief second or two, and really hadn't liked him very much at all. had she gotten to know him, she probably would have decided she definitely didn't like him. he was too arrogant for her taste in all the wrong sort of ways. a playboy who knew he was attractive and used it. only without good hair. the buzzcut wasn't a good look on him.
but illya... well. she can't help but smile as he settles next to her, looking relaxed and comfortable in a way that's especially rare. a hand reaches out to rest against his own, fingertips tracing along the side, and she poses a quiet question. ]
Are you happy? With the way things turned out, I mean. [ even with the arguments — they'll never stop arguing, not completely; they're too stubborn and bullheaded to ever truly let those go ] Are you happy we played checkers?
[ that is a question with a remarkably easy answer. ]
Yes.
[ he would have, of course, been lying to think that one game of checkers would have eventually led to her being in his bed months later but it is not a turn of events that he is unhappy with. he would have been happy with just that one time, that first time when he'd tried to cook before they'd become preoccupied. even if that had been the only tim, he would have been happy and held the night in close regard.
he would have never admitted that to anyone, though, thinking a connection of any sort a weakness.
and while he still thinks it's dangerous now, he's let himself fall too far too pull back now. ]
I hate the game of checkers and I hate losing but I do not mind what happened after that initial game. [ he would have maybe taken out the part of her getting hurt and then disappearing but she had healed and she was back. ]
Happiness is...a somewhat foreign concept for me. I do not even know if I understand what it feels like. But, I like what I am feeling now.
[ she understands. this kind of happiness — laying here with him, content and warm and cozy — is fleeting and brief, the sort of moment daisy commits to memory; it isn't expected to last or to linger, but rather to fade into the realities of their lives by morning. they expect to look over their shoulders and be faced with a crisis, a disaster in the making or a spike of danger in the distance, and to sacrifice their own happiness for the time being to handle it.
living in it, having that happiness be the standard rather than the exception, feels foreign. it's unfamiliar ground, and so they both stumble, uncertain of the rules or the allowances.
but daisy wouldn't change it. even now, she's content to simply hum her agreement, shifting to lay flat on her back again, free hand reaching to pull a pillow under her head. ]
I like it too. [ her head tips to the side in order to smile a little more warmly in his direction, the hand that'd been tracing his pausing to squeeze. ] Being here with you. It's probably the best part of my day.
[ perhaps one day he will not be so surprised when she directs something like that to him. today is not that day. the surprise doesn't show on his face, thankfully, because he doesn't want to explain why it keeps catching him off guard.
one day. it will go along with conversations about doctors and diagnoses and everything else being left unsaid for the time being. ]
Good.
[ god, don't make him blush. it looks strange on his face. ]
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no subject
[ she'd only met solo for a brief second or two, and really hadn't liked him very much at all. had she gotten to know him, she probably would have decided she definitely didn't like him. he was too arrogant for her taste in all the wrong sort of ways. a playboy who knew he was attractive and used it. only without good hair. the buzzcut wasn't a good look on him.
but illya... well. she can't help but smile as he settles next to her, looking relaxed and comfortable in a way that's especially rare. a hand reaches out to rest against his own, fingertips tracing along the side, and she poses a quiet question. ]
Are you happy? With the way things turned out, I mean. [ even with the arguments — they'll never stop arguing, not completely; they're too stubborn and bullheaded to ever truly let those go ] Are you happy we played checkers?
no subject
Yes.
[ he would have, of course, been lying to think that one game of checkers would have eventually led to her being in his bed months later but it is not a turn of events that he is unhappy with. he would have been happy with just that one time, that first time when he'd tried to cook before they'd become preoccupied. even if that had been the only tim, he would have been happy and held the night in close regard.
he would have never admitted that to anyone, though, thinking a connection of any sort a weakness.
and while he still thinks it's dangerous now, he's let himself fall too far too pull back now. ]
I hate the game of checkers and I hate losing but I do not mind what happened after that initial game. [ he would have maybe taken out the part of her getting hurt and then disappearing but she had healed and she was back. ]
Happiness is...a somewhat foreign concept for me. I do not even know if I understand what it feels like. But, I like what I am feeling now.
no subject
living in it, having that happiness be the standard rather than the exception, feels foreign. it's unfamiliar ground, and so they both stumble, uncertain of the rules or the allowances.
but daisy wouldn't change it. even now, she's content to simply hum her agreement, shifting to lay flat on her back again, free hand reaching to pull a pillow under her head. ]
I like it too. [ her head tips to the side in order to smile a little more warmly in his direction, the hand that'd been tracing his pausing to squeeze. ] Being here with you. It's probably the best part of my day.
no subject
one day. it will go along with conversations about doctors and diagnoses and everything else being left unsaid for the time being. ]
Good.
[ god, don't make him blush. it looks strange on his face. ]
You're always welcome to be here. I do not mind.