You see me...so much better than anyone else has ever seen me. [ and he marvels at that. how she can look so different to one person in comparison to every other person on his life. how they can look at him and want to leave and she can look at him and tell him in the bluntest of terms that she's going nowhere and that's all there was to it.
he swallows and reaches down to curl his fingers around her hand. this might be the longest conversation they've had without it becoming physical since meeting. there was nothing wrong with that either (he quite enjoyed the physical aspect of their relationship) but this was probably needed.
overdue. a way to finally clear the air on certain questions and create more for them to answer in the future. ]
I won't leave. [ now he was the one making promises that he knows he might not be able to keep. he cannot control this place and its whims but he has a choice. for once, he has a choice and he is not going to leave. ]
I'm here. [ he'd used those words before, he realizes. when this whole thing between them had been starting to build into something more intense, something deeper. ]
You frustrate me almost on a daily basis but even if I was angry with you that I could not even think, I won't leave. Maybe I would go for a walk but I would come back. And I would make sure you were all right. And that you knew I was there.
[ that would be his goal. if she wasn't here with him, he would make sure she knew that he was still here. thinking about her while being all right and in one piece. he would make sure that peace of mind was always there. ]
Well, it probably helps that you're not terrible to look at. [ a tease as her hand adjusts, fingers threading through his and squeezing gently, resting the twined palms against his chest.
the lightness fades — not in her eyes or her expression, but in the tone of their conversation — as he says those words again. i'm here, right here, right now. they didn't have much, but their relationship, who they were to each other — it had proven an anchor in a place that capsized anything either of them knew, and each time he said those words, daisy felt it burrow just that much deeper in her heart.
it wasn't the apartment or the key or the drawer he cleared out for her that won her over. it wasn't a toothbrush on the counter or a space made on the bed. it was his presence, his constant presence even in the worst moments, that pulled her in.
he'd saved her life, but more importantly, he'd given her something to have a life for. something beyond a job or a responsibility, something that was purely for her. ]
I believe that is a compliment so thank you. [ not terrible to look at was more than he'd heard from almost anyone else in the past few years of his life. he cares about his appearance in that he has to look put together for work and it is a routine for him now.
although some of that routine has been changed with his arrival here. he can't even remember the last time he'd had facial hair this long. it was still unfamiliar to make choices just for himself. ]
Oh, I know you will frustrate me. And you will make me angry. But, I do not care. I'll still be here. There are many things I struggle with here, in this city and with the new path my life has taken but that is not one of them.
Maybe I cannot make other choices very well but I've made this one. This is what I want. [ the plainest, bluntest way he's ever said that, he thinks. he remembers how persistent she'd been with trying to get what he wanted out of him in the past but maybe a switch has been flipped or maybe he is just more comfortable admitting something like this to her now. ]
All of it. [ whatever happens. the good and the bad. ] I want that.
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no subject
he swallows and reaches down to curl his fingers around her hand. this might be the longest conversation they've had without it becoming physical since meeting. there was nothing wrong with that either (he quite enjoyed the physical aspect of their relationship) but this was probably needed.
overdue. a way to finally clear the air on certain questions and create more for them to answer in the future. ]
I won't leave. [ now he was the one making promises that he knows he might not be able to keep. he cannot control this place and its whims but he has a choice. for once, he has a choice and he is not going to leave. ]
I'm here. [ he'd used those words before, he realizes. when this whole thing between them had been starting to build into something more intense, something deeper. ]
You frustrate me almost on a daily basis but even if I was angry with you that I could not even think, I won't leave. Maybe I would go for a walk but I would come back. And I would make sure you were all right. And that you knew I was there.
[ that would be his goal. if she wasn't here with him, he would make sure she knew that he was still here. thinking about her while being all right and in one piece. he would make sure that peace of mind was always there. ]
no subject
the lightness fades — not in her eyes or her expression, but in the tone of their conversation — as he says those words again. i'm here, right here, right now. they didn't have much, but their relationship, who they were to each other — it had proven an anchor in a place that capsized anything either of them knew, and each time he said those words, daisy felt it burrow just that much deeper in her heart.
it wasn't the apartment or the key or the drawer he cleared out for her that won her over. it wasn't a toothbrush on the counter or a space made on the bed. it was his presence, his constant presence even in the worst moments, that pulled her in.
he'd saved her life, but more importantly, he'd given her something to have a life for. something beyond a job or a responsibility, something that was purely for her. ]
I can't promise I won't frustrate you, though.
no subject
although some of that routine has been changed with his arrival here. he can't even remember the last time he'd had facial hair this long. it was still unfamiliar to make choices just for himself. ]
Oh, I know you will frustrate me. And you will make me angry. But, I do not care. I'll still be here. There are many things I struggle with here, in this city and with the new path my life has taken but that is not one of them.
Maybe I cannot make other choices very well but I've made this one. This is what I want. [ the plainest, bluntest way he's ever said that, he thinks. he remembers how persistent she'd been with trying to get what he wanted out of him in the past but maybe a switch has been flipped or maybe he is just more comfortable admitting something like this to her now. ]
All of it. [ whatever happens. the good and the bad. ] I want that.