[ she's not taking it as a personal offense. if anything, it just reminds her how much they matter to each other. how important it is that she comes home, at the end of all this. ]
But you're going to worry and I'm going to let some random doctor slice my head open, and talking about it isn't going to change either of those things.
[ they are both much too stubborn for that. ]
I don't want to spend the night hashing out worst case scenarios.
[ that's the problem, isn't it? it would be much easier if she knew what she wanted to do, if she knew how to take her mind off the impending freight train of possibility that was coming her way in the morning.
but she doesn't. so she picks at her food and lays on the couch and tries not to look too miserable in the process — because she's not sad or even afraid, really. she's just. aware. ]
I'm glad you're here, though.
[ not in the ring or on a job. here with her, where it counts. ]
There is nowhere else I would be in a time like this.
( he doesn't want her to go through invasive brain surgery but if he's going to do it, he doesn't want her to do it alone. she'd had to do that the last time something like this had come up and he regrets it to this day. he probably always will. )
I love you. I want to marry you. ( he smiles down at her and sighs. ) It's too bad things were so chaotic prior to this or I would have suggested doing it very quickly before this happens.
[ which isn't to say that she's unhappy with the gesture, or wouldn't have done it. but as far as marriage is concerned in new amsterdam, it's just a formality. a way to sign over their intentions and expectations to each other for some finite amount of time, with predetermined penalties and options for getting out of it sooner if need be.
what she wants, what she'd meant when she said she wanted to get married, was something a little more sentimental. a promise without an end date, a vow in front of people they cared about — and though daisy had always brushed off the idea of planning and hosting, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she wanted it to matter. she wanted something to remember, something to hold onto, that a courthouse elopement wouldn't provide. ]
I don't want to rush it. I want to actually get married with you.
[ 'you will be taking it', all russian stern tone and firm insistence — it's a testament to how much she actually does love him that she doesn't immediately bristle, but rather fondly rolls her eyes, thumb brushing against the back of his hand. ]
You'll have to help me, mister fashion consultant.
( this time, it's his turn to roll his eyes. it's quite amazing that that lie is still hanging around after over a year in this place. )
If it keeps you in one place while you recover, I'll do whatever you might need. ( he'd do whatever she needed anyway. ) I just do not want you to do too much too soon.
[ she doesn't feel the same need to throw herself into everything anymore. there are other, equally capable members of the displaced who can go on stupid missions to mount everest or to a city she has no interest in seeing. she does not need to be everywhere all the time.
if she has to take a week to lay on the couch and be fed bonbons by her loving fiance, she'll make the terrible sacrifice and do it. ]
( the perfect patient part, at least. he shakes his head and sighs. )
But I appreciate you at least saying you will make the effort. I understand that it might be difficult but I want you to recover from this and be well. That's all.
Hey. [ a gentle squeeze of his hand, a more serious expression slotting into place as she shifts against him, all evidence of the time apart that's sobered her more reckless impulses. ] I said I would, so I will.
[ she means it. ]
I know there's other stuff going on. The mountains and whatever, this stupid gates thing Clarke has pushed everybody into. I don't need to deal with that stuff.
( he nods, letting some of his dubiousness drop away. he's still getting used to this new side of her, the one that doesn't get up at the first sign of trouble to help even if her organs were falling out of her body. )
I'll keep you up to date with anything that you might need to know but I hope it's quiet for a little while. This place needs it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ she's not taking it as a personal offense. if anything, it just reminds her how much they matter to each other. how important it is that she comes home, at the end of all this. ]
But you're going to worry and I'm going to let some random doctor slice my head open, and talking about it isn't going to change either of those things.
[ they are both much too stubborn for that. ]
I don't want to spend the night hashing out worst case scenarios.
no subject
( his very complicated meal that wasn't complicated at all. he's just teasing. he's trying to tease, at least. )
What do you want to do, then?
( the world is kind of your oyster. what did someone do right before they had brain surgery? )
no subject
[ that's the problem, isn't it? it would be much easier if she knew what she wanted to do, if she knew how to take her mind off the impending freight train of possibility that was coming her way in the morning.
but she doesn't. so she picks at her food and lays on the couch and tries not to look too miserable in the process — because she's not sad or even afraid, really. she's just. aware. ]
I'm glad you're here, though.
[ not in the ring or on a job. here with her, where it counts. ]
no subject
( he doesn't want her to go through invasive brain surgery but if he's going to do it, he doesn't want her to do it alone. she'd had to do that the last time something like this had come up and he regrets it to this day. he probably always will. )
I love you. I want to marry you. ( he smiles down at her and sighs. ) It's too bad things were so chaotic prior to this or I would have suggested doing it very quickly before this happens.
no subject
[ which isn't to say that she's unhappy with the gesture, or wouldn't have done it. but as far as marriage is concerned in new amsterdam, it's just a formality. a way to sign over their intentions and expectations to each other for some finite amount of time, with predetermined penalties and options for getting out of it sooner if need be.
what she wants, what she'd meant when she said she wanted to get married, was something a little more sentimental. a promise without an end date, a vow in front of people they cared about — and though daisy had always brushed off the idea of planning and hosting, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she wanted it to matter. she wanted something to remember, something to hold onto, that a courthouse elopement wouldn't provide. ]
I don't want to rush it. I want to actually get married with you.
no subject
( he reaches over to take one of her hands in his and gives it a squeeze before holding it loosely. )
We can start planning it when you're done with this. I imagine there'll be some recovery time for you after this and you will be taking it.
( so, no getting up and trying to get back to your routine the day after, daisy. )
no subject
You'll have to help me, mister fashion consultant.
no subject
If it keeps you in one place while you recover, I'll do whatever you might need. ( he'd do whatever she needed anyway. ) I just do not want you to do too much too soon.
( he worries. )
It is all right to take time.
no subject
[ she doesn't feel the same need to throw herself into everything anymore. there are other, equally capable members of the displaced who can go on stupid missions to mount everest or to a city she has no interest in seeing. she does not need to be everywhere all the time.
if she has to take a week to lay on the couch and be fed bonbons by her loving fiance, she'll make the terrible sacrifice and do it. ]
I'll be the perfect patient, okay. I promise.
[ famous last words?? ]
no subject
( the perfect patient part, at least. he shakes his head and sighs. )
But I appreciate you at least saying you will make the effort. I understand that it might be difficult but I want you to recover from this and be well. That's all.
no subject
[ she means it. ]
I know there's other stuff going on. The mountains and whatever, this stupid gates thing Clarke has pushed everybody into. I don't need to deal with that stuff.
no subject
( he nods, letting some of his dubiousness drop away. he's still getting used to this new side of her, the one that doesn't get up at the first sign of trouble to help even if her organs were falling out of her body. )
I'll keep you up to date with anything that you might need to know but I hope it's quiet for a little while. This place needs it.
( too bad that wouldn't happen. )