[ he's glimpsed bits and pieces in the moments where he hasn't been looking at her or tucked up in his own head with his thoughts but if she asked him what was going on, he would not be able to tell her.
his fingers twitch a little as she touches him, reactions born by the sensitivity of his palm and wrist in general. he would not call it ticklish but it is certainly close. ]
I was watching other things. [ and 'other things' hadn't been the far wall for once in his life. ]
[ a hum of consideration echoes in her chest, the sound carrying through as she leans back against him. she has an idea of what he might be looking at — more than an idea, really. the window's an option, but with the shades drawn to block out the light, it's unlikely. with the sparse decor, there aren't very many options.
when you add in his quiet, almost distracted reply ... well, daisy finds it fairly easy to connect those last remaining dots. ]
You could do more than watch.
[ if you wanted to, unstated but hopefully understood. her fingertips push forward, a slow drag as her palm flattens against his in order to clasp their hands together, thumb brushing over the back of his hand as she turns his wrist. ]
[ he understands. he doesn't immediately react, choosing instead to twitch just the slightest bit at the drag of her fingers against his wrist and hand, proving that even giant russians had their extra sensitive spots. but that's forgotten when she laces her fingers with his and tugs his hand a bit. ]
I would not want to interrupt your movie.
[ he might have meant that a few weeks ago when things were new and he still wasn't sure what it was she wanted from him (despite her best efforts). this time, he's actually teasing just the slightest bit. his voice is still as deep as it usually is but he tries to instill some lightness so she, at least, can tell he's joking.
[ she's teasing all the same, but it's subdued. instead of daisy's usual sharp humor, her voice sounds almost distracted, as light and whispery as it is, just the softest hint of something warm and wanting around the edges. ]
Or not. [ her face turns in for a moment, a gentle kiss pressed against into the fabric of his shirt. ] I don't care.
[ clearly, there's something more interesting up for discussion. ]
[ illya has serious doubts that he's even going to remember this movie existed after tonight. maybe, if she found it on television a few months from now (and does he realize he's thinking of this in months? no, he does not and don't point it out), he might recognize an image or two but probably not. ]
You have something else in mind to fill the time? [ look, he knows. he's not that dumb. when she turns, he lifts his other hand, curving it around the back of her neck and kneading just slightly. she's still warm from the shower and he murmurs something too quiet to really be heard. ]
[ she doesn't answer right away. she hums, acknowledgement and agreement both in a warm one-note trail of sound, and lets her head tip forward a bit as his hand comes up to span over the back of her neck. a pleased, appreciative sound, almost a groan, might signal her approval of the touch.
after a beat or two, daisy adds, casual as anything: ] It might fill more than time.
[ though he can't see it, the corners of her mouth quirk up at her own joke. ]
[ too bad he laughs at the same, a quick, short sound that he clamps down on quickly. it's not that he doesn't like to laugh, he just...doesn't really expect to laugh. but that terrible joke had surprised it out of him.
illya keeps his hand against the back of her neck for a few moments longer before letting it wander up into her hair. he tangles a few strands around his fingers and then gives the barest of tugs just to see what she'd do. ]
[ it is a bad joke. he's not wrong. but he laughed all the same, and so did she, so she thinks that makes it a pretty good joke by definition. ]
You like my bad jokes.
[ also true. she'd elaborate, she would — but her attention is drawn elsewhere by the sensation of his fingers threading through the hair at the nape of her neck, the slow drag of weight downward that has her adjusting with the motion. her head tips back as requested, eyes fluttering closed; instead of speaking, a soft sound rumbles in her throat.
what she'll do, apparently, is whatever his hands are guiding her to do. ]
[ it's heady, having control like this even for a moment. he's used to being in control of all situations, to having a precise amount of say of how he'll get from one point to another.
this is an entirely different thing altogether. he's not planning anything because he has no idea what the next five minutes might hold. so, it's a tenuous, risky kind of control and it gives him a quiet thrill.
keeping a hand in her hair, illya leans forward and drags his mouth from the edge of her jaw down her neck and to her shoulder where he breathes in, breathes out. ]
[ she doesn't often give up control. even when he touches her, there's usually a push on her end, unspoken if not outright explicit instruction on what she wants and how she wants it — but this? this is different.
this is daisy breathing in the scent of him, feeling the warmth of his mouth as it slopes over her jaw and neck and the hollow above her collarbone, anticipating his next move but having no idea what it might be. this is knowing what she wants, but allowing him to change her mind, one touch at a time... as long as it's not just one touch and then nothing else.
though she doesn't outright tell him what to do, she offers encouragement all the same, her free hand lifting to splay out against his back, quiet sounds slipping through her open mouth with each touch. ]
Edited (i... was not done??? words???) 2019-02-20 17:46 (UTC)
[ he's trying not to think too much. trying being the operative word. because a part of him just wants this to be something slow and soft and completely focused on her but the other part can't quite stop thinking about their conversation of earlier. about what she'd offered and how enticing something like that sounded.
he's trying not to overthinking because he's hoping clarity will just come to him but — he realizes he might just have to ask her if she has a preference. he also realizes she might not give him an answer.
so.
he lifts his head until his lips are close to her ear and just stay there for a moment, letting his breath brush against her before dipping lower and finally talking. ]
How are your injuries?
[ it's important to know for a few things that might be floating through his head. he's not intending to stop but he does want to make sure that he doesn't do the wrong thing for her physical health. ]
[ her head feels heavy, weighed down by contentment and comfort — when he speaks, it takes her a moment to blink, to rouse herself into responding; when she does, it's calm, almost sweet as her mouth curves into a lazy smile. ] They're better, [ gentle reassurance ] Don't worry.
[ she's past the point of fear and fragility. now, her only instructions are to avoid repetitive injury — so no sparring, to avoid blows to the ribs, and no getting into fights to avoid breaks anywhere else. she's allowed to run and walk and resume her daily activities, so long as she gives herself breaks.
not that she thinks that's what he means. no, daisy remembers their conversation too. though she doesn't mean to let herself get her hopes up, her heartbeat ticks a speed higher all the same, warmth and wanting blanketing her limbs. ]
[ it is a very nice feeling that he would be content to envelope himself for the rest of the evening. but he'd asked that question fro a reason and now that she's answered, it's hard to think of anything but that.
for awhile, he stays just like that, nuzzling against her neck and saying nothing. he stays there for almost too long. long enough that she might think he's going to do nothing more than that.
he finally pulls himself back, hands coming up to frame her face. ]
But, I can do more than nice.
[ he can. he's trusting her that her injuries are healed that if doing this isn't going to injure her. that he can use the strength and tension in his limbs in a good, pleasurable way without aggravating her recovery.
so, he makes the statement and watches her to ensure this is what she wants too. ]
[ she knows he can. she knows exactly what he's capable of, how hard a blow he can strike and how strong he can be — but in this, it's uncharted territory. thrilling, exciting, nervewracking; her mouth suddenly feels a little dry as he looks down at her, tongue pushing out through her lips to sweep side to side.
in some corner of her mind, she knows what this is. a line in the sand, a last call at backing out before they step into something very different. this is the time for daisy to crack a joke or change the subject, to feign sleep or to get up for a drink of water, to do anything other than express her complicit agreement with whatever it is he has in mind. once they start, stopping won't be nearly as easy.
but she doesn't want to get up, or to stop, or to change the subject. she wants whatever he's been thinking of, whatever he's willing to give her. so rather than smile or laugh or joke, she offers just one word of encouragement. ]
[ it's one word, two syllables but it seems to set off a little explosion in his chest. he doesn't move immediately though he wants to. he wants to grab her and push her down, he wants to cover her with his body and leave marks on her but he doesn't just yet. ]
You say something if you want to stop.
[ he doesn't intend to get too out of control with anything but he feels that has to be said. they are still new to each other no matter how much time has been spent together. he thinks he has a fairly strong grip on what she likes and what she doesn't like but there's no way he knows it all.
not yet. ]
All right?
[ his hands are already creeping down to the bottom of her (his, it's his damn shirt) to get a hold of the hem but going no further for the moment. ]
I don't. [ at all. no part of her wants to stop. her entire body trembles for a moment in sheer exhilaration before her hands dart down, curling around the hem and yanking it upright, over her head, before it's tossed aside. it falls ... somewhere. over the side of the bed, most likely. ] I don't want to stop.
[ so there. a dare, in a sense. hitting the gas instead of the brake, gaze locked on his, breath caught in her throat as her heartbeat hammers in her chest. god help her, she couldn't stop if she wanted to right now.
but she can stoke the fire, so she does. ]
Please, Illya.
[ breathy, a little ragged around the edges, the way she usually groans his name when he's got her nearly there. no question of what she wants, anymore. ]
[ he is pretty sure that he stops breathing at least once. he doesn't know if it's when she says she doesn't want to stop or when she pulls the shirt over her head and tosses it aside like she won't be needing it anymore. but, he knows that he stops breathing and then she says please (again) and he exhales noisily.
he's heard that tone of voice many times by now but never before they've actually done anything.
it's enough.
it's enough to finally turn that switch completely where it needs to be. it's enough to make him surge forward, slotting his mouth against hers and tumbling them both to the bed. he reaches for both of her hands, moving them above her head and pressing them down, effectively pinning her down, fingers digging roughly into her skin.
he bites at her lower lip once, twice before pulling back and peering down at her. while the clothes he's wearing are thin and meant to keep him cool, he still feels overly dressed in comparison to her. but it's also a rush, being like this when she's completely naked.
he makes a sound low in his throat and nudges her legs apart with his knee so he can shift a little bit closer. he lowers his head and finds the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and presses a gentle kiss there right before licking the spot and then sucking at it sharply.
he does not know what a hickey is but she might be getting one anyway. ]
[ the moments pass by in a blur, as he drops her to the bed and pins her down, as his hands dig into her wrists, as his teeth drag against her lips and then her neck and then the spot he's claimed as his own. the spot that, when his mouth brushes against it, daisy's head tips to the side, exposing more skin to the greedy path of his lips and teeth and tongue.
she knows, in the haze of her mind, what he's doing. the kind of claim he's making, the mark that won't fade overnight; it's a brand, a tangible reminder of this thing between them, and as the reality of it washes over her, daisy moans, head tipping back as her eyes flutter closed. she shifts underneath him, hips rising, trying to angle for more of the weight and pressure he's giving between her legs, to get any more of him that she can.
there's a time for slow and there's a time for fast, and right now, there's no room for patience. there's no room for anything but want and need, tight in her belly, and the echo of his groaned desire between them. ]
[ it would be easy, he realizes, to spend far too much mouthing at her neck and he doesn't want her to think that he's changing his mind. he's not. it's just too easy to get caught up in how she smells and how she tastes and how she feels.
he would have never admitted to being a man who could get so caught up in things like that but here they were while it was happening. don't ask him to admit it out loud but he'll admit to himself. it's true.
eventually, he does pull away when there's a nice bruise forming against her smooth skin. hopefully she'd be able to hide it. but, not thinking about that now, not when he's licking his way back into her mouth and giving his hips just the barest press down and against her, worrying her lower lip between his teeth so he can get a good look at her while she feels him. ]
wanted to write smut, wrote fuckin garbage emotions instead
[ she won't hide it. she's not thinking about it now, but come morning, daisy will leave it be. she might smile, might trace a fingertip around its edge and remember the sharp pain and pleasure that had flooded through her as his teeth had dragged across her skin, but she won't feel shame.
she isn't ashamed of him. she isn't ashamed of any of this — not of him, not of what he does to her, not even of how he makes her feel. there's pleasure, yes, but there's more than that. even as his tongue sweeps across her teeth, warmth blooms across her skin, bleeding through them both through their bond, her own adoration clear as the lust that threads around it. this isn't about getting off. there were a million people in this city who had a body she could climb onto. this was about something else.
this was trust, and as her wrists rock underneath his grip, a wave of it pulses through the bond, steady and sure. a four letter word she's not ready to even think passes through the haze of her arousal, and daisy swallows hard, groans his name, and keens. ]
Please, [ she begs, but she's not sure what for. more. always more, of him, of this, of the pressure he's so teasingly providing. ]
[ will he ever get used to feeling what she feels? probably not. it used to be that when he was with anyone, he could shut off that side of him, the side that wanted to feel anything. he could take comfort in the other person as a way to release stress and tension but nothing more.
not here. even the slightest hint of a touch opens him up to emotions he's tried to bury. and it allows him to feel what people think of him. so, getting even a taste of what she feels nearly leaves him panting. and then she has to go and beg, to sound so wanting of him that he actually does gasp though it's quiet, quick. he covers it up by pushing himself into a kneeling position so he can tug his own shirt off. ]
What are you asking me for?
[ for once, he's asking not because he's confused but because he's genuinely curious as to what he can do to make this better for her. he knows what he wants to do, how he wants to touch her, how he wants to bend her and pull her and bite at her but they're together and he wants to know what she thinks as well. ]
I want — [ and for once, daisy struggles to put it into words. it isn't as simple as a command or a direction, not as straightforward as encouragement might be. it's permission, in a way, something she's already given but stands to be repeated. she has to swallow again, blinking rapidly as she tries to clear her mind enough to put the words together; there's a moment of silence, the only sound their breathing, before she manages to speak again. ] I want all of it. All of you.
[ his hands have stilled, loosened their grip, and so she's able to gently pull one of her own free; it lifts to find purchase along his jaw, nails scratching along the thicker patches of his beard. in the quiet, she finds the words, and the self-awareness to smile up at him, not quite a smirk but bright all the same. ]
I trust you. I wouldn't have asked you to fuck me senseless if I didn't.
[ is that clear enough for you, comrade, because she's not quite sure how else to put it. ]
[ sometimes he wishes he had her ease with words. her ability to be so open and honest about what she wants. even if he'd already known this for the most part, she speaks it clearly and without shame and he doesn't think he'll ever be able to be like that.
but, he understands. he gets it, he knows what she wants and he wants to give it to her if he can. one of the reasons he wishes he could talk as openly as her would be that he could tell her this isn't exactly a request he gets often. it's not the first time but he hopes that maybe it would explain some of his hesitance.
she trusts him though, three words that make him a little dizzy. he nods, leaning down to give her a deep, dizzying kiss before he pulls back and makes to move off of her. ]
Turn around.
[ if she wants to put herself in his hands, he'll do his best to make sure she's exhausted and sore by the end of things. ]
[ if the intention is to shut her up, a kiss like that does a damn good job. she's lucky to be able to manage a nod of acknowledgement before rolling onto her stomach, shifting to prop her head and shoulders up on her forearms. the rest of her lays flat, though she doesn't doubt that he'll move her as he needs to for whatever he has in mind.
her mind is happy enough to fill in the blanks with suggestions, but there's something particularly thrilling about the mystery of it all. ]
[ more than he could have asked for, more than he deserved. truly, he has no idea why she might have chosen him of all people but he also knows better than to ask. because he knows the look that he would get and there is an outside chance it would start an argument.
but he thinks about it nonetheless because what does he have to offer? very little. and yet here she is, trusting him and wanting him and giving herself to him in a way that makes him shudder.
he stretches out over top of her again, hands on either side of her while he lines kisses down her spine, down to the small of her back and then up again, licking the back of her shoulder.
soft and sweet and delicate and good for other situations but not right now. so, it's a good thing that he reaches up and gets a hand in her hair and tugs back on it, enough to sting probably but he's not being cruel. he can't do that.
with her head pulled back, he lowers his face down to her neck and kisses it again. he's building up to things and he needs to move things forward (and he will) but he just can't help himself where she's concerned. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i counted nine
[ he's glimpsed bits and pieces in the moments where he hasn't been looking at her or tucked up in his own head with his thoughts but if she asked him what was going on, he would not be able to tell her.
his fingers twitch a little as she touches him, reactions born by the sensitivity of his palm and wrist in general. he would not call it ticklish but it is certainly close. ]
I was watching other things. [ and 'other things' hadn't been the far wall for once in his life. ]
no subject
when you add in his quiet, almost distracted reply ... well, daisy finds it fairly easy to connect those last remaining dots. ]
You could do more than watch.
[ if you wanted to, unstated but hopefully understood. her fingertips push forward, a slow drag as her palm flattens against his in order to clasp their hands together, thumb brushing over the back of his hand as she turns his wrist. ]
no subject
I would not want to interrupt your movie.
[ he might have meant that a few weeks ago when things were new and he still wasn't sure what it was she wanted from him (despite her best efforts). this time, he's actually teasing just the slightest bit. his voice is still as deep as it usually is but he tries to instill some lightness so she, at least, can tell he's joking.
trying to joke. ]
You looked quite enthralled.
no subject
[ she's teasing all the same, but it's subdued. instead of daisy's usual sharp humor, her voice sounds almost distracted, as light and whispery as it is, just the softest hint of something warm and wanting around the edges. ]
Or not. [ her face turns in for a moment, a gentle kiss pressed against into the fabric of his shirt. ] I don't care.
[ clearly, there's something more interesting up for discussion. ]
no subject
[ illya has serious doubts that he's even going to remember this movie existed after tonight. maybe, if she found it on television a few months from now (and does he realize he's thinking of this in months? no, he does not and don't point it out), he might recognize an image or two but probably not. ]
You have something else in mind to fill the time? [ look, he knows. he's not that dumb. when she turns, he lifts his other hand, curving it around the back of her neck and kneading just slightly. she's still warm from the shower and he murmurs something too quiet to really be heard. ]
no subject
after a beat or two, daisy adds, casual as anything: ] It might fill more than time.
[ though he can't see it, the corners of her mouth quirk up at her own joke. ]
no subject
[ too bad he laughs at the same, a quick, short sound that he clamps down on quickly. it's not that he doesn't like to laugh, he just...doesn't really expect to laugh. but that terrible joke had surprised it out of him.
illya keeps his hand against the back of her neck for a few moments longer before letting it wander up into her hair. he tangles a few strands around his fingers and then gives the barest of tugs just to see what she'd do. ]
no subject
You like my bad jokes.
[ also true. she'd elaborate, she would — but her attention is drawn elsewhere by the sensation of his fingers threading through the hair at the nape of her neck, the slow drag of weight downward that has her adjusting with the motion. her head tips back as requested, eyes fluttering closed; instead of speaking, a soft sound rumbles in her throat.
what she'll do, apparently, is whatever his hands are guiding her to do. ]
no subject
this is an entirely different thing altogether. he's not planning anything because he has no idea what the next five minutes might hold. so, it's a tenuous, risky kind of control and it gives him a quiet thrill.
keeping a hand in her hair, illya leans forward and drags his mouth from the edge of her jaw down her neck and to her shoulder where he breathes in, breathes out. ]
no subject
this is daisy breathing in the scent of him, feeling the warmth of his mouth as it slopes over her jaw and neck and the hollow above her collarbone, anticipating his next move but having no idea what it might be. this is knowing what she wants, but allowing him to change her mind, one touch at a time... as long as it's not just one touch and then nothing else.
though she doesn't outright tell him what to do, she offers encouragement all the same, her free hand lifting to splay out against his back, quiet sounds slipping through her open mouth with each touch. ]
no subject
he's trying not to overthinking because he's hoping clarity will just come to him but — he realizes he might just have to ask her if she has a preference. he also realizes she might not give him an answer.
so.
he lifts his head until his lips are close to her ear and just stay there for a moment, letting his breath brush against her before dipping lower and finally talking. ]
How are your injuries?
[ it's important to know for a few things that might be floating through his head. he's not intending to stop but he does want to make sure that he doesn't do the wrong thing for her physical health. ]
no subject
[ she's past the point of fear and fragility. now, her only instructions are to avoid repetitive injury — so no sparring, to avoid blows to the ribs, and no getting into fights to avoid breaks anywhere else. she's allowed to run and walk and resume her daily activities, so long as she gives herself breaks.
not that she thinks that's what he means. no, daisy remembers their conversation too. though she doesn't mean to let herself get her hopes up, her heartbeat ticks a speed higher all the same, warmth and wanting blanketing her limbs. ]
This is nice.
no subject
[ it is a very nice feeling that he would be content to envelope himself for the rest of the evening. but he'd asked that question fro a reason and now that she's answered, it's hard to think of anything but that.
for awhile, he stays just like that, nuzzling against her neck and saying nothing. he stays there for almost too long. long enough that she might think he's going to do nothing more than that.
he finally pulls himself back, hands coming up to frame her face. ]
But, I can do more than nice.
[ he can. he's trusting her that her injuries are healed that if doing this isn't going to injure her. that he can use the strength and tension in his limbs in a good, pleasurable way without aggravating her recovery.
so, he makes the statement and watches her to ensure this is what she wants too. ]
no subject
[ she knows he can. she knows exactly what he's capable of, how hard a blow he can strike and how strong he can be — but in this, it's uncharted territory. thrilling, exciting, nervewracking; her mouth suddenly feels a little dry as he looks down at her, tongue pushing out through her lips to sweep side to side.
in some corner of her mind, she knows what this is. a line in the sand, a last call at backing out before they step into something very different. this is the time for daisy to crack a joke or change the subject, to feign sleep or to get up for a drink of water, to do anything other than express her complicit agreement with whatever it is he has in mind. once they start, stopping won't be nearly as easy.
but she doesn't want to get up, or to stop, or to change the subject. she wants whatever he's been thinking of, whatever he's willing to give her. so rather than smile or laugh or joke, she offers just one word of encouragement. ]
Please.
no subject
You say something if you want to stop.
[ he doesn't intend to get too out of control with anything but he feels that has to be said. they are still new to each other no matter how much time has been spent together. he thinks he has a fairly strong grip on what she likes and what she doesn't like but there's no way he knows it all.
not yet. ]
All right?
[ his hands are already creeping down to the bottom of her (his, it's his damn shirt) to get a hold of the hem but going no further for the moment. ]
no subject
[ so there. a dare, in a sense. hitting the gas instead of the brake, gaze locked on his, breath caught in her throat as her heartbeat hammers in her chest. god help her, she couldn't stop if she wanted to right now.
but she can stoke the fire, so she does. ]
Please, Illya.
[ breathy, a little ragged around the edges, the way she usually groans his name when he's got her nearly there. no question of what she wants, anymore. ]
no subject
he's heard that tone of voice many times by now but never before they've actually done anything.
it's enough.
it's enough to finally turn that switch completely where it needs to be. it's enough to make him surge forward, slotting his mouth against hers and tumbling them both to the bed. he reaches for both of her hands, moving them above her head and pressing them down, effectively pinning her down, fingers digging roughly into her skin.
he bites at her lower lip once, twice before pulling back and peering down at her. while the clothes he's wearing are thin and meant to keep him cool, he still feels overly dressed in comparison to her. but it's also a rush, being like this when she's completely naked.
he makes a sound low in his throat and nudges her legs apart with his knee so he can shift a little bit closer. he lowers his head and finds the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and presses a gentle kiss there right before licking the spot and then sucking at it sharply.
he does not know what a hickey is but she might be getting one anyway. ]
no subject
she knows, in the haze of her mind, what he's doing. the kind of claim he's making, the mark that won't fade overnight; it's a brand, a tangible reminder of this thing between them, and as the reality of it washes over her, daisy moans, head tipping back as her eyes flutter closed. she shifts underneath him, hips rising, trying to angle for more of the weight and pressure he's giving between her legs, to get any more of him that she can.
there's a time for slow and there's a time for fast, and right now, there's no room for patience. there's no room for anything but want and need, tight in her belly, and the echo of his groaned desire between them. ]
no subject
he would have never admitted to being a man who could get so caught up in things like that but here they were while it was happening. don't ask him to admit it out loud but he'll admit to himself. it's true.
eventually, he does pull away when there's a nice bruise forming against her smooth skin. hopefully she'd be able to hide it. but, not thinking about that now, not when he's licking his way back into her mouth and giving his hips just the barest press down and against her, worrying her lower lip between his teeth so he can get a good look at her while she feels him. ]
wanted to write smut, wrote fuckin garbage emotions instead
she isn't ashamed of him. she isn't ashamed of any of this — not of him, not of what he does to her, not even of how he makes her feel. there's pleasure, yes, but there's more than that. even as his tongue sweeps across her teeth, warmth blooms across her skin, bleeding through them both through their bond, her own adoration clear as the lust that threads around it. this isn't about getting off. there were a million people in this city who had a body she could climb onto. this was about something else.
this was trust, and as her wrists rock underneath his grip, a wave of it pulses through the bond, steady and sure. a four letter word she's not ready to even think passes through the haze of her arousal, and daisy swallows hard, groans his name, and keens. ]
Please, [ she begs, but she's not sure what for. more. always more, of him, of this, of the pressure he's so teasingly providing. ]
but you know i love the garbage
not here. even the slightest hint of a touch opens him up to emotions he's tried to bury. and it allows him to feel what people think of him. so, getting even a taste of what she feels nearly leaves him panting. and then she has to go and beg, to sound so wanting of him that he actually does gasp though it's quiet, quick. he covers it up by pushing himself into a kneeling position so he can tug his own shirt off. ]
What are you asking me for?
[ for once, he's asking not because he's confused but because he's genuinely curious as to what he can do to make this better for her. he knows what he wants to do, how he wants to touch her, how he wants to bend her and pull her and bite at her but they're together and he wants to know what she thinks as well. ]
no subject
[ his hands have stilled, loosened their grip, and so she's able to gently pull one of her own free; it lifts to find purchase along his jaw, nails scratching along the thicker patches of his beard. in the quiet, she finds the words, and the self-awareness to smile up at him, not quite a smirk but bright all the same. ]
I trust you. I wouldn't have asked you to fuck me senseless if I didn't.
[ is that clear enough for you, comrade, because she's not quite sure how else to put it. ]
no subject
but, he understands. he gets it, he knows what she wants and he wants to give it to her if he can. one of the reasons he wishes he could talk as openly as her would be that he could tell her this isn't exactly a request he gets often. it's not the first time but he hopes that maybe it would explain some of his hesitance.
she trusts him though, three words that make him a little dizzy. he nods, leaning down to give her a deep, dizzying kiss before he pulls back and makes to move off of her. ]
Turn around.
[ if she wants to put herself in his hands, he'll do his best to make sure she's exhausted and sore by the end of things. ]
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her mind is happy enough to fill in the blanks with suggestions, but there's something particularly thrilling about the mystery of it all. ]
Is that … is this what you had in mind?
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[ more than he could have asked for, more than he deserved. truly, he has no idea why she might have chosen him of all people but he also knows better than to ask. because he knows the look that he would get and there is an outside chance it would start an argument.
but he thinks about it nonetheless because what does he have to offer? very little. and yet here she is, trusting him and wanting him and giving herself to him in a way that makes him shudder.
he stretches out over top of her again, hands on either side of her while he lines kisses down her spine, down to the small of her back and then up again, licking the back of her shoulder.
soft and sweet and delicate and good for other situations but not right now. so, it's a good thing that he reaches up and gets a hand in her hair and tugs back on it, enough to sting probably but he's not being cruel. he can't do that.
with her head pulled back, he lowers his face down to her neck and kisses it again. he's building up to things and he needs to move things forward (and he will) but he just can't help himself where she's concerned. ]
Move your legs apart. I want to touch you.
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