to summarize: you're both stupid, you both need to get laid, go ask her on a date before i smother you to death with one of her mod squad dresses and a pillow
wow hey. there's no need to threaten me with violence i'll go put on my big boy pants and ask
but if this blows up in my face, i'm holding you responsible, daisy johnson. you're buying me a giant tub of rice cream and watching rom coms or whatever it is that you do when you're sad
i'm not sure it totally is. seems more like a lowkey military occupation to me.
[ see: the una being assholes constantly ]
do people seriously take out insurance for this? i mean, it's pretty, but it's not like a house or anything
[ she sends him a photo because, honestly, she doesn't see the difference between a photo and seeing it in person. but daisy doesn't know how much it cost, and she's not entirely sure she wants to know. ]
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wait... you said she asked you the same question
this wasn't a hypothetical thing, right?
like she actually said something about me?
not some other dude named peter who she may or may not have been married to in some weird dream world?
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[ peter PLEASE ]
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there's no need to threaten me with violence
i'll go put on my big boy pants and ask
but if this blows up in my face, i'm holding you responsible, daisy johnson.
you're buying me a giant tub of rice cream and watching rom coms or whatever it is that you do when you're sad
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[ GO DO THE THING, PETER BENJAMIN ]
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sorry but i'm not doing it via group message
you don't need that much dirt on me.
[HE DID THE THING DAISY HEAD MAYZIE]
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
she's proud of you, peter benjamin. ]
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should i be worried she hasn't responded?
at what point in time should i be worried she hasn't responded???
[calm down peter. it's been like ten minutes.]
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she's not dead, i just talked to her
are you still hyperventilating?
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i mean she responded. i think it went well?
i might've wikipedia spiraled about spies though, to at least have something to talk about.
i'm sure whoever's tracking my search history is having a field day.
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[ wait. did he ]
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along with the fake engaged for the job bit.
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did she tell you who her fake fiance was?
[ how tangled is this friendship web getting....... ]
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is there something you know that you want to tell me?
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have fun with that tidbit
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H
A
T
????????????
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fake
fiancee
is
my
real
fiancee
[ adults ]
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and also what kind of weird trashy talk show lives do we live?
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i gave illya a chess set, he did that
[ she can't even say the words via text because she's a dumbass ]
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married. daisy. you're gonna get married.
i definitely think he won the award for best present though.
when do i get to see the ring?
and i guess that answers whether or not i have to worry about your real fiance trying to smooch my fake wife.
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[ she's!!! getting there!!! not that it's going to matter, rip. ]
you can see it whenever you want to see it. it's on my hand.
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it's a free country still
[it'll be fine. think about the tearful reunion.
or the nazi ex-boyfriend who's gonna show]how big we talking about here?
will i need sunglasses?
did you take out insurance?
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[ see: the una being assholes constantly ]
do people seriously take out insurance for this?
i mean, it's pretty, but it's not like a house or anything
[ she sends him a photo because, honestly, she doesn't see the difference between a photo and seeing it in person. but daisy doesn't know how much it cost, and she's not entirely sure she wants to know. ]
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[way to take the wind out of his sails, daisy.]
yes people take insurance out on their rings.
do you know how much they can cost?
two month's salary is just a minimum guideline...
[oooh it's shiny. and huge. and yeah daisy. take a policy out on that thing.]
damn. are you marrying an osborn?
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[ does she have any context for how much a ring should cost? no. but she's still stubborn about it. ]
why would anyone spend that kind of money on something like this?
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haven't you ever cared about someone so much that money seems like a trivial thing to fret about?
take it from me that it doesn't always matter.
[until it does and then things fall apart and he signs his divorce papers and moves out into a shoe box.]
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