[ he's bitter and she's hurt; gone is any softness or love rounding the edges of her words. all that's left is exhaustion and loneliness and the sharp agony of loss. ]
You don't get to come and make demands. I'm not your secretary, I'm not — I'm not your property, I'm not your little woman. [ oh, there's that ice. cold and bitter and mean, a strength to lean on as her shoulders straighten, defensive and firm. ] I'm not your anything.
[ does he think she wants it? a memory of what she can't have, a constant reminder of what he's throwing away just to prove his control? was that all this was ever going to be? a circular promise of ownership, a way to settle her when his words could not? she won't do it. she won't let him control her. that's not the life she agreed to. ]
You know what's more important than this? Not being fucking given ultimatums by somebody who said they loved me.
[ too bad, illya. you're getting the ring. or somebody is. he can donate it to housekeeping for all she cares, but it's going on the dresser. ]
[ illya wants nothing more than to apologize. to take this back, to rewind time, to erase this whole ugly altercation from history because he can't breathe. he'd gone into this with the best of intentions and now it was all in shambles at his feet. his ring was on the dresser and there was a chasm between them that he's never seen before. ]
I have never asked you for anything until now. Until right now because I don't want you to die. But, if this is what you think of me and what you've always thought, then fine.
[ he shakes his head and straightens in the same way that she squares her own shoulders. ]
If you are going to go then I wish you the best of luck.
You didn't ask me anything! You sat me down with this bullshit 'do what I say or I'm leaving you' ultimatum, and now I'm the bad guy?
[ unbelievable. absolutely unbelievable. after everything that they've survived, after everything they've lived through, after disappearances and hurt and pain and suffering, he would just threaten walk away — and worse, that he would blame her for doing it? ]
You think I'm going to die in there? Well, I hope I do. [ and, as cruel as that sounds, she means it. there's a coldness in the words that can't be faked. ] And I hope you think about the fact that you could have been there with me when I do.
All I've been thinking about is that you shouldn't be there at all! No one should be! Cassius is a murderer and I don't trust him. I don't know how anyone does.
[ would his support really been enough to withstand an ai? he doesn't think so. ]
I don't want to die and I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die. [ except the una. ]
I cannot convince you. You cannot convince me. We — just be safe.
[ she doesn't want his pity. she doesn't want pity or condolences or hollow words of hope. she wanted his comfort and his steady hand beside her and the knowledge that, no matter what happened, he would be there to stand at her side.
alone, there is fear. the sudden, undeniable knowledge that the mission she is undertaking could very well kill her. there is only that awareness, and the contrasting misery of loss, that propels her.
her voice cracks, her eyes water, but it's with fury that she says the last words she can before the door opens. ]
[ he doesn't say anything else because there is nothing else to say. he watches her slam her out of the room and stands there, alone and bereft and completely at a loss. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ he's bitter and she's hurt; gone is any softness or love rounding the edges of her words. all that's left is exhaustion and loneliness and the sharp agony of loss. ]
You don't get to come and make demands. I'm not your secretary, I'm not — I'm not your property, I'm not your little woman. [ oh, there's that ice. cold and bitter and mean, a strength to lean on as her shoulders straighten, defensive and firm. ] I'm not your anything.
[ does he think she wants it? a memory of what she can't have, a constant reminder of what he's throwing away just to prove his control? was that all this was ever going to be? a circular promise of ownership, a way to settle her when his words could not? she won't do it. she won't let him control her. that's not the life she agreed to. ]
You know what's more important than this? Not being fucking given ultimatums by somebody who said they loved me.
[ too bad, illya. you're getting the ring. or somebody is. he can donate it to housekeeping for all she cares, but it's going on the dresser. ]
Fuck you.
no subject
I have never asked you for anything until now. Until right now because I don't want you to die. But, if this is what you think of me and what you've always thought, then fine.
[ he shakes his head and straightens in the same way that she squares her own shoulders. ]
If you are going to go then I wish you the best of luck.
no subject
[ unbelievable. absolutely unbelievable. after everything that they've survived, after everything they've lived through, after disappearances and hurt and pain and suffering, he would just threaten walk away — and worse, that he would blame her for doing it? ]
You think I'm going to die in there? Well, I hope I do. [ and, as cruel as that sounds, she means it. there's a coldness in the words that can't be faked. ] And I hope you think about the fact that you could have been there with me when I do.
[ how dare you. ]
no subject
[ would his support really been enough to withstand an ai? he doesn't think so. ]
I don't want to die and I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die. [ except the una. ]
I cannot convince you. You cannot convince me. We — just be safe.
[ it's the only words he has left. ]
no subject
alone, there is fear. the sudden, undeniable knowledge that the mission she is undertaking could very well kill her. there is only that awareness, and the contrasting misery of loss, that propels her.
her voice cracks, her eyes water, but it's with fury that she says the last words she can before the door opens. ]
Go to hell, Illya.
[ maybe she'll see you there. ]
no subject