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[evite]

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[kgbs]

I do not have anything to do tonight.

[ so, her plans sounded quite nice if she wasn't walking in when the sun was just starting to rise. ]

I assumed you would be too tired.

[evite]

so i'll take a nap
then you can wake me up
win/win, right?

[ with your head between her legs, huh ]

[kgbs]

You think I would wake you up? What if I think you need your sleep?

[ that would just be interrupting a much needed rest! ]

[evite]

i can catch up on sleep later

[ spies are notoriously bad at catching their z's ]

[kgbs]

What if I am the one who's asleep when you finally decide to come back?

[ come...home? that felt weird to say. he wasn't sure if it was his right or if he even felt like that was correct. ]

[evite]

are you saying you don't want me to wake you up?

[ sounds fake, illya. plus, she knows you're going to stir as soon as her cold feet slide into bed. ]

[kgbs]

No, that is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that if I'm the one asleep, no one will be able to wake you up.

[ until she put wrapped herself around him like a spider monkey. ]

I will probably fall asleep on the sofa anyway. [ while he waited. ]

[evite]

[ the most important question: ] why are you sleeping on the sofa?

[ way 2 derail the conversation with your sad ]

[kgbs]

[ the honest answer is ridiculous. ]

Because that is where I will be while I wait for you to finally come back. Once I return there, at least.

[evite]

you do know we have a bed, right?

[ questionable choices you're making there, comrade ]

[kgbs]

I am aware.

[ he's frowning at his phone right now. ]

Am I not allowed to wait for you on the sofa?

[evite]

it's pretty weird that you won't sleep in our bed, illya

[ there!!! "our"!!! ]

plus, the couch sucks
you'll get a crick in your neck

[kgbs]

[ this was the weirdest, most domestic sort of argument ever. ]

Why is my sleeping on the sofa such a point of contention? It would not be a permanent thing. I'd go to the bed when you got in.

[ the sofa was fine, his neck was fine, why were you arguing this? ]

[evite]

why do i have to be there for you to sleep in our bed?

[ why are you still acting like it's a hotel room you haven't paid for, you weirdo ]

[kgbs]

Why are you so against me waiting for you to come back on the sofa?

[ what was this argument even about? ]

[evite]

what normal person sleeps on the sofa instead of their own bed?

[ russians being stubborn ]

[kgbs]

I suppose I am just not normal.

[ as if that was news. ]

I'll be on the sofa.

[evite]

i'm throwing the sofa out

[ you're the worst ]

[kgbs]

I will sleep on the floor.

[ you weren't doing anything while you were always working late. ]

[evite]

you will not

[ don't insult her hospitality ]

[kgbs]

I will so.

[ hospitality like he is a guest. ]

[evite]

[ throws hands!!! in the air!!! ]

you're impossible
what do you have against our bed anyway?

[kgbs]

Nothing.

[ the bed is perfectly fine! ]

I have slept in it before, I will sleep in it again. Falling asleep on the sofa is not going to change that.

[evite]

it's weird

[ sorry this is her hill to die on ]

you act like you don't even live there

[kgbs]

Is this really something you want to talk about while you're working?

[ a v o i d. ]