i. my autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and i'm feeling personally attacked. ii. EXCUSE YOU. i wasn't convicted of a felony, i just committed one. iii. he keeps trying to sext me and all i can do is respond with descriptions of what i'm eating. iv. i'm somewhere between crying and wanting to fist fight a homeless man. it's been a weird day. v. translate this into russian*, please: "my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again i will slap you" ( *feel free to substitute for language of choice )
because he's absolutely the kind of creepy to know how to translate that into russian i'll also accept polish or czech in a pinch, it'll sound angry enough either way
( if this wasn't via text, he'd be getting so many eye rolls right now. )
cisco you do realize i don't actually have a tattoo on my forehead in invisible ink, right like that's not actually a thing
...
...
...
wait, no, apparently it is a thing according to simmons you can get a tattoo in the same shade as your skin tone so it's basically invisible but that seems like a serious waste of time
( there's an audio recording of simmons as a reply, in which the other girl rattles off an indignant retort that goes on for about seven minutes too long. tl;dr: no. )
i think she's just jealous because snow whitecoat has the better lab
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texts from the previous evening, vol 1.
v.
do it yourself or at the very least figure out how to make your phone do it for you.
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ask your tech dude
the one that smells like pork rinds and battery acid
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a. are less likely to be doing creepy experiments
b. are a lot better to look at
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i'll also accept polish or czech in a pinch, it'll sound angry enough either way
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hitler clone. he might also know portuguese.
will deutsche do?
v.
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hit me
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"meine Vagina ist kein Kauspielzeug und wenn du mich wieder beißt, werde ich dich schlagen"
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you can talk dirty german to me anytime
( and, as a bonus, he probably won't do something stupid like BITE HER for no reason. )
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should i start practicing my yodeling?
( you know, in case they need to sing the lonely goatherd or something to fend off a bad guy... )
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( even if she is, begrudgingly, a little charmed by it. )
besides, i'm too old to play out my liesl and rolf fantasies now
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i.
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i have it tattooed backwards on my forehead, obviously
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Clearly, I just never noticed the very random face tattoo when we mutiverse-facetimed.
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duh, ramon, get it together
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A college dare?
All of the above...?
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just because YOU don't have your favorite animal name tattooed secretly on your body doesn't mean it's weird
you're really hurting my feelings here
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Isn't the point of a tattoo to, like, share a piece of your soul to the world in body art or...something?
[HAHA fuck needles no thank you, sorry, bye.]
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cisco
you do realize i don't actually have a tattoo on my forehead in invisible ink, right
like that's not actually a thing
...
...
...
wait, no, apparently it is a thing according to simmons
you can get a tattoo in the same shade as your skin tone so it's basically invisible
but that seems like a serious waste of time
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BUT I'M JUST SAYING
Also, I think there's also blacklight ink.
But that's not the point!!
P.s. hi, British Caitlin.
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i think she's just jealous because snow whitecoat has the better lab
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