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[evite]

@daisy.johnson | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[evite]

that depends.
are you going to admit that you could use some actual training, or are you going to act like nothing happened?

[kgbs]

[ grr argh. ]

I've had training.

[ o....nce. ]

[evite]

that was a date.

[ was it? apparently it was. ]

[kgbs]

It was?

[ he's not even trying to change the subject, he's legitimately surprised. ]

I didn't realize it had been a date.

[evite]

it was dinner and a movie. obviously it was a date.

[ okay maybe it was more pretending to have dinner while doing something else and then getting distracted and not going to the movies at all in favor of more of the other thing... but the point was, that's what it was supposed to be. ]

[kgbs]

Not obviously to me. I didn't date.

[ is he dating now???? ]

It was a good date. And I don't mean just because of what happened.

[evite]

you went on a date, so you kinda did.
i don't make the rules.

[ if it was so good illya ask her on another jeez ]

[kgbs]

[ well, he had been intending on surprising her before things got all out of whack and intense for awhile. ]

Perhaps we can do it again sometime. Not necessarily that but something. I was supposed to surprise you.

[ so, he at least had the idea of that to plan around. ]

You never did answer my question. Will I see you at mine or no?

[ never mind that he hadn't answered hers either. ]

[evite]

maybe.
you didn't answer my question first, though.

[ "but she's a dog with a bone when she wants to be", right? hmmm. ]

[kgbs]

[ she is proving him quite right, isn't she? ]

Am I to take it that if I say no to training, I won't see you?

[ that's not very nice. ]

[evite]

is that what it's going to take for you to be honest about what happened?

[ because you still haven't actually told her ]

[kgbs]

I can't tell you if I don't see you.

[ would he tell her? now, that was the big question. ]

I got into an altercation. It's over and done with. That is what happened.

[evite]

that's like saying world war ii was a bad time. it's technically true, but it doesn't actually tell the story.

[ she huffs a bit, grateful he can't see her. the dressing room is abandoned; though she doesn't say so, she starts to walk back towards the tram station, where she'll (in theory) catch a ride back towards his apartment. maybe. if he doesn't irritate her first. ]

it's fine. you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
i just thought we weren't keeping secrets from each other.

[kgbs]

[ he doesn't answer for a very long time. he needs the time to actually figure out if he wants to open this part of himself with her. ]

Early on, I told you what I didn't want to speak about when we talked about my control. Well, this man decided to speak about it. Very loudly and in my face. I didn't like it.

[ and this hadn't even been solo and his information. that had been worse. he'd been ready to kill solo. ]

[evite]

[ it takes him long enough to answer that by the time the message rolls through her interface, daisy's already boarded a tram. she'll head in that direction, but until he actually replies, she hadn't decided whether she'd actually go.

now, though, she knows she will. she won't leave him alone to deal with the wake of that kind of anger alone. ]

i remember.

[ how sharply he'd redirected her, how quick to cut off that line of questioning he'd been. she knew the emotion must be raw or repressed to trigger that kind of reaction — but she didn't know which was worse. ]

i'm sorry.

[ i'm sorry i wasn't there, she almost says, but it's not the point. her presence probably wouldn't have mattered — as far as daisy knows, anyway. ]

[kgbs]

It is fine. I lost control, I took my anger out on him and he will think twice about doing it again.

[ he'd be breathing funny too. ]

I am going to take a shower but you can let yourself in if you decide to come by.

[ he'd already taken a shower. he needs another one to cool down. ]

[evite]

it's not fine. we talked about this.

[ about how control was important. about how she wanted to help him master it. about how it worried her when he let go like that, anger unrestrained and unchecked. ]

i hate when you do this.

[ goddamnit. she doesn't mean to hit send, but. well. emotions get the better of her sometimes. ]

[kgbs]

[ all right, his shower was going to wait for a second while he glared at those words so hard he thought he might set them on fire with his mind. ]

Do what?

[evite]

[ she doesn't know how to answer at first. it doesn't feel like the kind of thing she should say over a message like this, but she can't just sit in digital silence either.

that would be worse. ]

don't shut me out.

[kgbs]

I'm not.

[ he thinks that's the truth. he knows he's not an open individual but he doesn't think he's shutting her out. ]

[evite]

then talk to me.

[ don't say "it's fine". it's not fine. you probably busted a guy's face open for throwing around made up trash talk about your mom. IT'S NOT FINE. ]

[kgbs]

About what precisely?

[ does she want to know about his feelings? his family? his diagnosed anger issues? all of the above? none the above? ]

I feel fine now.

[evite]

why did you lose control?

[ illya, please. you're not an actual moron. you know what she meant. ]

[kgbs]

I answered that question already.

[ wrong place, wrong time, wrong topic, wrong man. put them all together and mix it up and you get one loss of control special. ]

[evite]

[ it's like pulling teeth. she wants to scream. the woman sitting across from her on the tram looks Concerned. ]

there are four stops left on this tram.
give me an actual answer, or i'll take the hint and leave you alone for the night.