meadowlark: inbox.

[evite]

@daisy.johnson | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[thwipandrelease]

no, not that i was expecting her to be
i'm obviously not an accountant
or a father of two children

but yeah, now you understand why i said it was complicated.

[evite]

it's hilariously less complicated now that i know i have the two of you asking me the same damn question.

[ spoilers ]

stop wasting time, go ask the girl on a stupid date before she somehow goes back behind the berlin wall

[thwipandrelease]

what? what are you talking about.
if she's definitely sending the most mixed signals i've ever seen.

[spill, daisy. spill.]

uh you do know that that's not actually possible, right. first of all there's not a wall anymore. second, is berlin even a thing anymore here??

[evite]

ask
her
on
a
date

[ that's it, that's the text ]

[thwipandrelease]

you
ask
her
on
a
date

[#adulting]

[evite]

i'm not the one who needs to get laid

[ so there ]

[thwipandrelease]

didn't need you to share that little tidbit

and who says i need to get laid anyway?

[wow daisy. way to call him out on his self-imposed vow of celibacy]

[evite]

i don't know, probably everything about you

[ he said who says and daisy answers what says but honestly she's not wrong ]

[thwipandrelease]

[she's insufferable, but she's not wrong. which is probably why he's so annoyed.]

wait... you said she asked you the same question
this wasn't a hypothetical thing, right?

like she actually said something about me?
not some other dude named peter who she may or may not have been married to in some weird dream world?

[evite]

to summarize: you're both stupid, you both need to get laid, go ask her on a date before i smother you to death with one of her mod squad dresses and a pillow

[ peter PLEASE ]

[thwipandrelease]

wow hey.
there's no need to threaten me with violence
i'll go put on my big boy pants and ask

but if this blows up in my face, i'm holding you responsible, daisy johnson.
you're buying me a giant tub of rice cream and watching rom coms or whatever it is that you do when you're sad

[evite]

blah blah blah i'll believe it when i see it

[ GO DO THE THING, PETER BENJAMIN ]

[thwipandrelease]

i did it
sorry but i'm not doing it via group message
you don't need that much dirt on me.

[HE DID THE THING DAISY HEAD MAYZIE]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[evite]

[ message read.

she's proud of you, peter benjamin. ]

[thwipandrelease]

she hasn't responded
should i be worried she hasn't responded?

at what point in time should i be worried she hasn't responded???

[calm down peter. it's been like ten minutes.]

[evite]

[ like, three days later: ]

she's not dead, i just talked to her
are you still hyperventilating?

[thwipandrelease]

no?
i mean she responded. i think it went well?
i might've wikipedia spiraled about spies though, to at least have something to talk about.

i'm sure whoever's tracking my search history is having a field day.

[evite]

i didn't know you knew she was a spy.

[ wait. did he ]

[thwipandrelease]

she told me.
along with the fake engaged for the job bit.

[evite]

well, that's convenient.
did she tell you who her fake fiance was?

[ how tangled is this friendship web getting....... ]

[thwipandrelease]

no, she didn't.
is there something you know that you want to tell me?

[evite]

her fake fiance is my real fiance

have fun with that tidbit

[thwipandrelease]

W

H


A


T

????????????

[evite]

her
fake
fiancee
is
my
real
fiancee

[ adults ]

[thwipandrelease]

when did you get engaged??
and also what kind of weird trashy talk show lives do we live?