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[evite]

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Re: a good au.

[kgbs]

Fine.

[ what else was he going to say? ]

I was curious. I will go out, I suppose. I need to find something to eat.

i knew you were gonna leave that subject line in

[evite]

i miss you too

[ soft. knowing. ]

bite me

[kgbs]

You are probably too busy to miss me.

[ ignore him, he's just cranky. it feels like it's been awhile since he's seen her and not having something to do is getting to him. ]

say please

[evite]

never too busy for you
i can think of a lot of things i'd rather be doing right now, babe, and sitting in this stakeout isn't on the list

[ never ignoring the bae ]

make me

[kgbs]

At least it is something.

[ he was going to start challenging people to fights on the street if he didn't work this out soon.

with the knowledge that she's out for awhile in his head, he heads out himself because four walls and his own thoughts are not a good combination right now. ]

What would you rather be doing?

[evite]

you

[ and that's all she sends for a hot minute or so; navigating into a tightly-guarded paramilitary compound requires her full attention. it's only once she's safely seated inside a control room with piper at the door that she replies again. ]

unless you have better things to do tonight

[kgbs]

I do not have anything to do tonight.

[ so, her plans sounded quite nice if she wasn't walking in when the sun was just starting to rise. ]

I assumed you would be too tired.

[evite]

so i'll take a nap
then you can wake me up
win/win, right?

[ with your head between her legs, huh ]

[kgbs]

You think I would wake you up? What if I think you need your sleep?

[ that would just be interrupting a much needed rest! ]

[evite]

i can catch up on sleep later

[ spies are notoriously bad at catching their z's ]

[kgbs]

What if I am the one who's asleep when you finally decide to come back?

[ come...home? that felt weird to say. he wasn't sure if it was his right or if he even felt like that was correct. ]

[evite]

are you saying you don't want me to wake you up?

[ sounds fake, illya. plus, she knows you're going to stir as soon as her cold feet slide into bed. ]

[kgbs]

No, that is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that if I'm the one asleep, no one will be able to wake you up.

[ until she put wrapped herself around him like a spider monkey. ]

I will probably fall asleep on the sofa anyway. [ while he waited. ]

[evite]

[ the most important question: ] why are you sleeping on the sofa?

[ way 2 derail the conversation with your sad ]

[kgbs]

[ the honest answer is ridiculous. ]

Because that is where I will be while I wait for you to finally come back. Once I return there, at least.

[evite]

you do know we have a bed, right?

[ questionable choices you're making there, comrade ]

[kgbs]

I am aware.

[ he's frowning at his phone right now. ]

Am I not allowed to wait for you on the sofa?

[evite]

it's pretty weird that you won't sleep in our bed, illya

[ there!!! "our"!!! ]

plus, the couch sucks
you'll get a crick in your neck

[kgbs]

[ this was the weirdest, most domestic sort of argument ever. ]

Why is my sleeping on the sofa such a point of contention? It would not be a permanent thing. I'd go to the bed when you got in.

[ the sofa was fine, his neck was fine, why were you arguing this? ]

[evite]

why do i have to be there for you to sleep in our bed?

[ why are you still acting like it's a hotel room you haven't paid for, you weirdo ]

[kgbs]

Why are you so against me waiting for you to come back on the sofa?

[ what was this argument even about? ]

[evite]

what normal person sleeps on the sofa instead of their own bed?

[ russians being stubborn ]

[kgbs]

I suppose I am just not normal.

[ as if that was news. ]

I'll be on the sofa.

[evite]

i'm throwing the sofa out

[ you're the worst ]

[kgbs]

I will sleep on the floor.

[ you weren't doing anything while you were always working late. ]