meadowlark: inbox.

[evite]

@daisy.johnson | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

Comments

[evite]

because it's a ridiculous question
when was the last time anyone called another person their lover?

[ she doesn't KNOW, okay. she doesn't know what they are. she doesn't know because she doesn't want to think about it. she doesn't want to go down that road of hopes and dreams and possibilities. better to keep things vague, that way nobody gets hurt. ]

[kgbs]

So, the answer is no?

[ that is what it seems like to him. ]

keywords, cries.

[evite]

you're not just some guy i hook up with, illya

[ don't make her do this. ]

:(

[kgbs]

What does that mean?

[ this was your own fault. ]

What am I?

[evite]

lover is a stupid term
where did you even hear it?

[ changes the subject. ]

[kgbs]

Does it matter?

[ rey, you're lucky he's not going to give you up. ]

If you'd rather not talk to me, that is fine. I just thought I'd ask.

[evite]

don't put words in my mouth

[ she's only ever said how much she wants him, and this is his interpretation??? what the fuck?? ]

i just don't understand where this is coming from
did someone ask you?
is this because of you coming to visit?

[ she remembers sleeping on top of him. she doesn't remember if anyone would have seen. ]

[kgbs]

Yes, someone asked me.

[ if she has to know. ]

Again, I just thought I would ask your opinion. If you'd rather not talk about it, that is fine.

[evite]

well, what did you tell them?

[ fair is fair. ]

[kgbs]

I told them we were not.

[ for a myriad of reasons that he cannot tell her because that ruins the surprise he's trying to plan. ]

[evite]

[ ... oh.

why is she disappointed? isn't that what she said to begin with? what are these feelings? ]

sounds like you had it all figured it out

[kgbs]

Had what figured out?

[ what are you talking about? ]

[evite]

if you already answered the question, you didn't need me to answer it for you.

[ she can't do this right now, she feels like she's going to be sick. ]

[kgbs]

I asked because I wanted to know what you thought.

[ and he still doesn't know. ]

[evite]

i told you what i thought

[ a: lovers is a stupid word
b: you're not just a guy i hook up with ]

[kgbs]

You half told me. You changed the subject when I questioned you further.

[ don't think he hadn't noticed that. ]

[evite]

what did you call it?

[ this is entirely on you. you started this conversation. ]

[kgbs]

Never mind.

[ he should not have said anything about this to anyone. ]

It does not matter.

[evite]

then why did you even ask me in the first place if it doesn't matter???

[ WHY ARE YOU THIS WAY ]

what do you want me to say?
how many times do you want me to say the same things before you actually listen?

[kgbs]

[ there are many reasons, daisy. several novels worth. ]

I'm listening.

[evite]

you don't get to do that
answer the question

[kgbs]

Which one?

[evite]

what do you want me to say, illya?
do you want me to say yes?

[kgbs]

I want you to be honest.

[evite]

when do you think i stopped?
i've never lied to you
now answer my question